For me, it was on my 26th birthday, with a man I fully intended to marry. He was my love, my fiance, and my best friend, and wherever he is, I wish him well.
I’m a bit nervous about getting so graphic on a message board, but there is something I feel I should point out. We’d rented a hotel room for the weekend to celebrate my birthday and provide a pleasant, private environment for our weekend plans. I’d bought a box of birth control sponges, and there was no question in my mind that I liked him, loved him, and wanted him, and those emotions were returned. Foreplay and general fooling around had already given me a taste of what was to come, so to speak. Then came THE NIGHT. I managed to get the sponge in, and nervously got into bed with him like a bride on her wedding night, which is what I considered myself. I was too nervous. It hurt, to my surprise (I didn’t realize my hymen was still intact or that it would hurt that much), putting in the sponge was gross and awkward, and, despite what I wanted, what we wanted, it wasn’t going to happen. Instead, we fell asleep in each others arms. Don’t worry, things get better.
The next day was a holiday, pure fun for both of us. We went to see a movie then the Treasures of the Atocha display. When we got back to the hotel, I put another sponge in and had a hot bath to relax and arouse. I will never forget looking into his eyes as he squirted a bath oil bead into the tub. At the risk of TMI, it was an incredibly erotic moment. Needless to say, we did go to bed, and I lost my virginity with great enthusiasm, wonder, awe, and fun. I still remember laughing when I realized that yes, bed springs really do creak in that time honored fashion!
We made love more than once, and it got better each time, until we finally stopped from exhaustion. The only reason we didn’t make love the following morning was my muscles were protesting too much, and yes, I was walking funny.
I have no regrets about waiting. Because I liked and trusted him as well being totally in lust with him, there was no need for inhibitions or worry, just fun. Also, this devout Catholic later paid for me to get a Norplant because, in his opinion, the Pope was not speaking ex cathedra when he banned birth control.
Anyway, that’s my two cents. I know this is my engineer father’s influence, but, from a purely practical standpoint, I’m all for waiting to have sex the first time until you can do it with someone who can handle it if something goes wrong. “Wrong”, by the way, includes discussion up front about birth control and the consequences of an unintended pregnancy. They may not be the most romantic topics, which is why I’d talk about them beforehand, but to me, they’re necessary.
CJ