[QUOTE=Merijeek]
Oh come on…you just can’t imagine how cool it would be to have a show where all the characters are completely honest at all times. It would ROCK!
[/QUOTE]
Sayid: John, why do you have this C4 in your backpack?
Locke: Oh, I’m just planning to blow up the submarine. You know, the one that Mikhail told us about? See, I used to be in this wheelchair because my back was broken into about a jillion pieces, but this island healed me, so I really don’t ever want to leave. And if that means taking away your potential means of escape, that’s a chance I’m willing to take.
Sayid: Okay, John – I respect your opinion. But are you fucking nuts?
Locke: I may be, Sayid. I may just be.
Sayid: Fair enough.
Locke: I also meant to blow up Mikhail’s house. Just thought you should know.
LATER
Kate: Jack, we’re here to rescue you. I came back to help you!
Jack: Well, I’m still pissed after seeing you having Polar Bear Cage sex with Sawyer on the cameras – I mean, I feel kind of betrayed. I thought you were in to me. I mean, I’ve always been in to you, even if I’ve seldom showed any outward indications of it so that you would realize it.
Kate: Well, to be honest, I’m conflicted. I mean Sawyer’s this bad boy type, and that really turns me on. But you’re much more stable, so I think in the long run I really want you. But it’s just hard for me to help myself when I’m around Sawyer – he’s such an ass, and that turns me on even more. Do you want to talk about your feelings for a while?
Jack: That would probably be a good idea. After all, I’m starting to get a little intrigued by Juliet. And after all, she seems completely trustworthy, as does Ben. And she makes me these cute little sandwiches, Kate… with these little toothpicks. I miss having somebody cook meals for me. It’s nice.
Kate: Well… maybe I could slice up a papaya for you every once in a while, but I’m on the run a lot, so I don’t cook much. Did I tell you that I blew up my father? He thought that I thought that he was my stepfather, but I really found out he was my father. Anyways, it’s just so hard being on the run. You know, I want to have a normal life, but I just never felt able to settle down, with that marshall after me. Would it be okay if I kissed you right now?
LATER
Ben: So, are you and Juliet ready to go? You’re scheduled to get on the sub shortly.
Jack: Yep, thank you for keeping your word.
Ben: Well, I kind of had to – we made a deal. But just FYI, Locke here is planning on blowing up the sub. And I’m actually happy with it, because it provides me a loophole. I mean, I have to let you leave the island on the sub, but I really don’t want you to leave.
Jack: Well, that is kind of a bummer, but thanks for being so honest with me. Just curious – why don’t you want me to leave?
Ben: Jack, there are big mysterious things happening on this island, and they are…
BEN TELLS JACK EVERYTHING, SO NOW WE KNOW THE REASON FOR EVERYTHING HAPPENING ON THE ISLAND
Ben, continuing: … and that’s what it’s all about. Also, we could use a good surgeon, and you guys killed Ethan, you know.
Jack: Yeah, sorry about that.
CLOSE-UP ON JACK
Whhhhooooooooooosh (Flashing back to just after the plane crash)
Jack: Did we find everybody who was hurt? Does anybody else need any help?
Boone: I think we found everybody. And I have extra pens, just in case.
Jack: Why don’t we all go around and say our names and where we are from? So we can get to know each other.
Shannon: I’m Shannon, and I’m a stuck-up shallow socialite.
Boone: I’m Boone, and Shannon’s my step-sister. I just banged her the other day. It was pretty good.
Ethan: I’m Ethan. I’m actually infiltrating your camp. I wasn’t on the plane. Don’t mind me, I’ll be over there taking blood samples from that pregnant chick.
Vincent: Woof.
Compelling stuff, no?