I’d declare it a National Treasure, if this wasn’t, y’know, an International message board.
Or you could stop being an attention-seeking douchebag. I supposed it’s too much to ask that a thread about dead children remain free of your threadshitting hijackery, though.
What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
Non sequitur much?
…dammit. I tried not to ask…I waited over a day and hoped the urge would go away and it’s just gotten worse.
Help me understand:
Someone was snoring. They were
A) In the couch
B) In bed
C) In another city
Therefore, you upended the couch to
- Roust them from the couch
- Make noise so they woke up and got out of bed
- Show how deeply frustrated you were at the idea that someone was snoring.
And the result of this was
i) They were heaved out of the couch and fell on the floor, breaking a bone…possibly a femur.
ii) After getting out of bed, they came down to see what the noise was and they killed your bunny after they realized you woke them by flipping furniture
iii) Kept sleeping soundly because, hey–they’re in another city–they don’t care what you do to your family room seating.
Any guesses (in case Lute doesn’t come back) would be appreciated.
Is this like the three door Bob Barker thing where I should change my choice after stating my original one?
What’s harder to unload off of a pickup truck, 20 bowling balls or 20 dead babies?
The bowling balls. You can use a pitchfork with the babies.
I correctly chose the balls, but my choice was based on weight. Bowling balls weigh between 12 - 16 pounds IME, while dead babies, prior to any significant weight loss due to putrefaction weigh in at just less than 8 pounds, on average. The babies in the story here would be even lighter, skeletal even. What’s a baby skeleton weigh, anyway?
You’re wrong–the bowling balls would be easier. YOu just open the back of the truck and they all roll out. Being spherical and all. Babies are kind of shaped like an under-inflated football. They’ll just lay there.
Unless you let them putrefy…in which case, they’re easier than the bowling balls because pouring is easier than rolling.
No–I think it’s like that puzzle where there’s one boat that can carry any two creatures and you have to get a (snoring) chicken, a (snoring) fox and a bag of grain across a river and onto a couch that may or may not be upturned but you gotta be careful about who you leave where.
Until I read this thread, I was unaware of the existence of dead baby jokes. Now I need to Google them and laugh myself silly, all the while hearing Sister Mary Wrathful’s tongue lashing that ended with “You have a weird sense of humor. BE SEATED.”
Monty Hall, not Bob Barker.
You’re correct. I was gonna pick Monty and change from door 3 to door 2.
Damn. I got Alex Trebek. That’s not even CLOSE!
Also, I have no idea what’s going on here any more.
These hijacks are why this has become the best thread ever.
Maybe Lute saw dust bunnies under the sofa after he upended it, and developed a fatal attraction that led to his financial crisis.
Dammit, after reading that Bob Barker post I now have Macklemore playing in my head…
IIRC, we are waiting for foot fungus to heal up.
:mad: I just snorted green tea into my sinus cavity, you bastard!!
Oh, I really, REALLY hate those puzzles! My foxes always eat my chickens after the chickens gobble up the grain. 
Stupid puzzles.
The trick is to have sex with the foxes so they are too busy tending to the baby foxes and then you eat the chickens.