If she’s an ex-Doper, she’ll know what gets talked about here…
I think you need to strike while the iron is hot.
If you don’t, you run the risk of her starting to lose respect for you for not being assertive and not wanting her enough to go out on an emotional limb to get her. On the one hand, it’s charming to have a guy so into you that he can’t bring himself to admit it to you. But after a certain point, I think a girl begins to question whether he really likes her–or why he’s too wimpy to take the next step. If that happpens, she might start to talk herself out of her feelings for you.
I know whereof I speak. Mr. Cranky had a hard time expressing his growing crush on me.
Since it’s real hard to know exactly where that line is (where it goes from something that’s cute to something that makes you seem like a wuss), I suggest you do this soon. Script a few approaches for yourself and practice them, if you think you’ll be tongue-tied. Then do it. Take the chance. And maybe you should also script for yourself a few “saves” so you feel prepared for the worst happening.
I wish I found this thread 3 days from now so that I could read the conclusion - this is killing me!
Jesus, Niles - work up some moxy and give Daphne a try!
Best of luck to you 
Remember what Robert Frost said:
Something we were withholding made us weak
Until we found it was ourselves.
Tibs.
TIBURON—“I wish I found this thread 3 days from now so that I could read the conclusion - this is killing me!”-----how do you think I feel. We both work tonight but after she closes the bar, I’m going to give her a call and tell her to come visit me at work, because I have something important to tell her, at least this way she’ll demand to know once she gets there and I can’t back out either.
Well wish me luck.
Good luck, and DON’T WUSS OUT!
When she gets there and asks what’s so important, don’t make something up like telling her you’ve been thinking of getting a mohawk and would like her opinion.
Just freakin’ tell her already, man!
Ha cranky
out of curiosity how did Mr. cranky confront you?Nicklz, dammit! What are you doing here? Don’t you have someone to declare your love to or something?!
Sheesh, kids today, procrastinate about everything…
Good luck, man! I’m thinking happy thoughts for you and the hopefully soon-to-be SO!
Ugh. . .this thread hits a bit too close to home for my liking. Half this advice might as well be being given to me. Good luck to Nicklz and anyone else in a similar situation. Be sure to let everyone know how it goes!
Oh god, I saw this and knew I had to reply. I’ve been working up to something similar recently. I wish you the best of luck… if you do well, then there’s even hope for me!
He didn’t. I am the one who initiated the first kiss and have never let him forget it. I allege that we’d be still be waiting to have that smooch if it were left up to him to make the Big Move, but he resents this and swears he would have screwed up the courage.
All turned out fine, but we were getting close to the point where his tentativeness was starting to make me mad. I mean, I’m bossy enough as it is–I can’t be in a relationship with someone so meek that I seem like a total fishwife. Someone else has to wear the pants some of the time. I realize how stupidly sexist and gender-role-stereotyped this all sounds, but hey, it was in the fabric of my conception of “How The World Works.”
In fact, I’d say what redeemed him was taking me by surprise with a marriage proposal. We’d talked about it, but I figured it would be one of these ideas that we’d both nurse along and we’d just arrive at engagement in a collaborative way. Which was fine, since I knew I wanted to marry him, but I felt a little sad about not having “The Event” of the proposal. Yes, Cranky is shallow. I admit it. So when he popped the question, I was delighted and taken aback. I thought he didn’t have it in him to be so bold. And I loved him all the more for loving me enough to be gutsy.
As it turns out, he’s plenty strong and assertive. He was just so tentative about us, it didn’t come out a lot in our courting relationship. I’m glad I didn’t blow it by getting tired of that deference too soon.
More than you asked for, but I thought I had to tell the whole story.
AARRGGHH!!
You’re going to make me check back tomorrow afternoon, aren’t you?
I sincerely hope that right this minute the two of you are locked in a loving embrace, having bared your hearts to one another!
I just love love!
Coooommmmeee ON! What’s going on?
Hm…how odd that I was more excited to check out what was going on here than if our office pool had won the lottery jackpot of $77 million.
Fill us in!
Tibs.
I’m thinking we need to post a new rule: you can’t ask for advice on a compelling problem like this without guaranteeing a prompt update.
My level of interest was like Tib’s. I was compulsively checking the boards every hour after 3 pm, DYING to know what happened. I was even putting up with the crappy slow load time, just to see if you’d spilled your guts to her!
Well? No post yet must be locked in an embrace of mutual satisfaction.
patience, people! Right now he may be busy!! I Hope!
I hope!
well i called her from work 11:30pm, told her to come by work when she got off that i needed to talk to her about something really important (of coarse the jukebox is full blast and she can just barely her me) so having to repeat myself i yell into the phone (so she can hear me) IT’S NICK COME BY AND SEE MY AFTER YOU CLOSE okay gotta go she yells back. Well she swings bye around 3:30am, I had planned on saying so many things and probably would’ve been able to do it if Ryan(my co-worker) hadn’t been there, so I was just like well I’ll do it when we go back to my house,(told her I’d make her breakfast) Well we get to my house at like 7:30 and she decides to skip breakfast and asks me if i want to tan early in the day and then go and run, I say sure so she was going to go change and come back to pick me up and it’s like 10:30 now…Jill has colapsed on her bed and is asleep. In all honesty I did have one chance at work to ask her, and I didn’t. SOME ON SMACK ME
(assuming she doesn’t wake up untill she has to go to work tonight)
I think I’ll go to the bar like an hour before I have to work and tell her “Jill I already love you so much as a friend anyone other than you wouldn’t understand, and here recently I’ve realized that your the one girl that I’ve been looking for and I’m hoping you’ll want to see me as both…your boyfriend and your best friend.”
what do you think?
Tell us damn it:)
well i called her from work 11:30pm, told her to come by work when she got off that i needed to talk to her about something really important (of coarse the jukebox is full blast and she can just barely her me) so having to repeat myself i yell into the phone (so she can hear me) IT’S NICK COME BY AND SEE MY AFTER YOU CLOSE okay gotta go she yells back. Well she swings bye around 3:30am, I had planned on saying so many things and probably would’ve been able to do it if Ryan(my co-worker) hadn’t been there, so I was just like well I’ll do it when we go back to my house,(told her I’d make her breakfast) Well we get to my house at like 7:30 and she decides to skip breakfast and asks me if i want to tan early in the day and then go and run, I say sure so she was going to go change and come back to pick me up and it’s like 10:30 now…Jill has colapsed on her bed and is asleep. In all honesty I did have one chance at work to ask her, and I didn’t.
SOMEONE SMACK ME
(assuming she doesn’t wake up untill she has to go to work tonight)
I think I’ll go to the bar like an hour before I have to work and tell her “Jill I already love you so much as a friend anyone other than you wouldn’t understand, and here recently I’ve realized that your the one girl that I’ve been looking for and I’m hoping you’ll want to see me as both…your boyfriend and your best friend.”
what do you think?
or…
“You know I bet since were such great friends we’d be great as a couple” “would you go out with me?”
or…
Just blurt out “Why has it taken me so long to see how much you mean to me”
or…
Another idea I could have another female friend approach her at the bar tonight and say “Jill I know you and nick are really close, but do you like him? because if not I was wondering if it’d be okay if I asked him out” and I have the perfect girl to do that for me too. Because Jill insists that she likes me anyway. So it’d be totally beleivable! Sounds like a good idea, but it’s probably a mistake isn’t it???
AAAAHHHHH! AHHHHHHHH!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Dude!! Just get her alone and TELL HER already!
I know it’s hard, I’ve been there! But DO IT!