Loving Too Much: Ever Been Told That?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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I will be the first to admit that I’m a bit of a Kuschel-Tier, (German word for “pet”). I love to hug, nuzzle , snuggle, stroke my lady, as we’re lying on the sofa, just being quiet. It’s not what used to be called “heavy petting”, because it isn’t the prelude to anything, it’s more often than not, the post-lude. That quiet time after making love, when you want to be still and just “be” with your partner.

But I made a mistake this afternoon: I asked if she enjoyed my attentions and she said she did, but when I said that I enjoyed having attention paid to me too, I musta opened a door that should have remained closed, because she then allowed that she was not a demonstrative person, and although she enjoyed my “playing”, she didn’t “need” it as much as I seemed to need to do it.

I do not want to re-make her, but this is a change I didn’t see coming. We’ve been together (through troubles and good times) for 5 years, and we are both in our early 50’s, and I have always been this way. I’m not a “public” lover, although I do like to hold hands when we’re walking in the mall or watching a movie in a theater together.

So now I’m loving her “too much.” Also, I am not one of those “touchy-feely” people, even though my job sometimes requires me to take a pulse or percuss a chest or back to assess a patient’s pulmonary status. I am very reserved and limit my attentions to the privacy of my home with the woman I love.

I would be interested in reading your opinions as to what you think I may be missing. I do not doubt her love for me, and I am willing to concede she might have just been having a “bad day”, though she denied it. I don’t want to re-make myself, either. :wink:

Guess maybe I shouldn’t have asked, huh? :smiley:

Thanks

Q

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And yeah, before y’all ask: It’s on again. Don’t ask me why, the answer is somewhere in the stars, 'cause I sure can’t do without her, and I guess the same is true for her.

Somehow, I feel like I should have outgrown all this stuff! :smiley:

Q

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I think you are probably making more of the situation than you should. If it hasn’t bothered you before now, drop it and forget about it.

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I’m generally more of a touch-oriented person than my hunny is. Post, pre, whatever. It’s just one of those things. Supposedly I get it from my father. Unless it bothers her, I wouldn’t worry about it too much:)

However, you say you “love her too much” viz your touching her more than she desires (and furthermore, specifically to a degree she does not desire). You don’t indicate in your post that she said this. Is this your assessment ofthe situation? The representation of her in your OP gives me the impression that she certainly doesn’t mind it, it’s just not utterly necessary to her. Again, if she hasn’t asked you to stop I wouldn’t worry a lot that you’re doing it too much. If it ain’t broke, y’know?:slight_smile:

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iamphuna: She didn’t say it yesterday, but has in the past. Yes, she likes it, and as you say, it isn’t necessary to her, so I’m putting 2 and 2 together, and trying to be really careful, because both of us have been on “rocky roads” lately. (Not the ice cream!)

But as you say, she likes it, and I like doing it. It’s just that …

I think I’m about to whine, so why don’t I just stop there? :smiley:

I’ll just derive some pleasure out of having her close to me and just carry on. How’s that?

Thank you!

Q