Onion(www.theonion.com)has short items that start out like this:
Guitar-Instruction Manual Has Eddie Van Halen On Cover, ‘Go Tell Aunt Rhody’ Inside
ELIZABETH, NJ–Rock The House In 30 Days, a beginner-level guitar-instruction manual published by Elizabeth-based Learn-2-Play Books, features superstar rocker Eddie Van Halen in the midst of a raging guitar solo on the cover, and such traditional, public-domain songs as “Go Tell Aunt Rhody,” “Greensleeves” and “Little Brown Jug” inside.
If your life were covered by Onion, what sort of news stories would they have? If it’s not funny, then shoot for sarcastic.
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ST.LOUIS, MO–Second grader Kerry Saarinen spent the third day home with a cough and fever and playing Pokemon on GameBoy. The boy reported that this was an especially convenient time to use his sister’s GameBoy and a cable to trade monsters between the red and blue versions. “I can’t wait to get Pokemon yellow”, he added.
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PEORIA, IL–Two scientists from the XYZ Chemical Co received two salesmen, Scott and Bob in a cramped vacant office to talk about the potential of an $80 000 monitoring system using some sort of spectroscopy, “GLX”. The scientists acted mildly interested, as Bob and Scott showed demos on a Dell laptop and made notes in their appointment book (containing a Palm Pilot as well), about potential other clients at the XYZ company. Bob had on loafers and socks with discreetly embroidered ducks, while Scott had laced wingtips. The scientists later agreed that the instrument seemed easy to use, but that the boss would not spend the money this year.