Area Man Not Gushing Over iPhone
Says man, “It’s better than my radio…I suppose.”
Wisconsin Almost Ready to Accept Brett Farve’s Replacement
Says Wisconsin: “If he can win 18 more Superbowls…we’ll see.”
Kobe Clings to Illusion of Self-Sufficiency
“I don’t need Shaq” insists Laker superstar as rumors of addition of another cheap superstar to add to Pau Gasol swirl.
iPhone 5 to Include Death Ray, New Stylus
“We’re really proud of that stylus,” says Steve Jobs.
Disney Ponders Supervillain Status
Will re-release Cinderella for “a meeeeellllioooon dollars”