that wascally wabbit is sure to run
and if that wabbit gets away this time…
We’ll toast him with soda (lemon-lime)
And if that lemon-lime should make you pucker…
It’s that toasted wabbit’s fault - the fucker!!
So, if mama goes on a wabbit hunt
So, if mama goes on a wabbit hunt
I’ll buy her a bloodhound to catch the little runt,
But if that bloodhound humps your leg…
He’ll put holes in Bugs Bunny’s bun.
And if the Road Runner should appear…
Ummmmmm… Annie I think you missed a few. :smack:
The frat boys’ll cheer and tap a keg
And when the keg has all been drunk…
And when the keg has all been drunk…
The boys’ll tap another and then dance the “Funk”,
but if the Funk just ain’t your jive…
Mama’s going to get you a buzzing beehive.
If deatly bee allergies, you should have…
If deathly bee allergies, you should have…
Momma will carefully apply a salve.
But if it turns out that the salve don’t work…
momma’s gonna hire you a front desk clerk
and if that clerk doesn’t service your needs
Mama’s gonna send you on vacation in Leeds
And if in Leeds you land in jail
You better hope Mama’ll post bail.
And if in gaol she leaves you rot…
momma’s gonna buy the guard’s kegs of ale
and if that ale won’t get them pissed
Ooops! 
And if in gaol she leaves you rot…
momma’s gonna get you a cake (store-bought)
and since momma never baked a thing for you…
Mama’s gonna buy you an Irish loo
and if that loo should overflow
Pray you don’t get sucked down by undertow.
But if perchance you find you’re drowning…
But if perchance you find you’re drowning…
Darn you Sternvogel
Momma’s gonna throw the entire town in, 
lame
But if those people just don’t float…
They better hope like hell they have a boat.
But if that boat should spring a leak…
“Spring a leak?” I slay me!
Mama’s gonna take you to Pike’s Peak.
If you fall off of that mountain…