Mama’s waiting by with three big frisbees.
And if those frisbees fail to spin
Mama’s gonna buy you a bottle of gin.
If that bottle of gin don’t make you drunk
Dye your hair blue and call it punk.
And when you realize punk’s passe …
You can roll around with hippies in a stack of hay.
And if that hay gets where it shouldn’t get…
Mama’s gonna buy you a butterfly net.
And if that net don’t catch your moth…
The moth’ll start eating up all your cloth.
So Momma’s gonna buy you some brand new clothes
If them clothes not much cleavage shows
Mama’s gonna buy you a push up bra
GorillaMan, you forgot an if…
And if those clothes all tear to shreds…
:smack: Preview is my friend!
And we’re out of sync here!
And if that bra don’t hold you up…
:smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:
where are we…
Momma’s gonna get you a bigger cup.
And if that cup looks just plain odd
Mama’s gonna buy you a plastic surgery bod
If those breast implants go south
She’ll just make up for it with botox round your mouth.
And if you end up looking like a freshly caught trout
Mama’s gonna buy you some Sauer Kraut
If that Sauer Kraut makes you puke
Stevie Wonder will sing Sir Duke
And if Sir Duke should make you dance…
Momma will chase you with a sharpened lance.
And if this seems a little like Freud
Mama’s gonna buy you a stud named Lance
And should Lance turn out to be gay
DANGIT! but mine’s better than Gorilla Man’s 
Mama’s gonna buy you an android
And if that android has a lisp
Mama’ll introduce you to Quentin Crisp.
But Quentin Crisp is still quite dead
So Momma will buy you a water bed
And if that water bed should burst…
The salesman will tell you “Well, that’s a first”
And if he doesn’t change his tune darn sharp