Volcanology: the science behind Spock’s salute.
Continental drift: The English Channel.
Degenerate dwarf: [Come on, folks, some of these just write themselves!]
Quantum entanglement: The messy tangled web that arises when one is having an extra-marital affair. A paradoxical aspect of this situation is that one can effectively be both married and not married at the same time, and it’s impossible to know which until you open the letter from your spouse’s lawyer, at which point your bank accounts experience what is known as quantum collapse. (It can also get very scandalous if there’s a degenerate dwarf involved.)
fermentation: the musings of woodland mammals
Event horizon: How far away you can be in the cheap seats and still juuuuuuust see the stage.
Graduated cylinder: Erik Selander - the Swedish guy who graduated from college before everyone else.
Gravity The opposite of levity.
Anthropology The study of “furries”.
Botany: Query, “Do you have a software agent?”
Meteorology: or how to wish upon a star.
Parabola, hyperbola: In mathematics, a parabola is an exaggerated fictional story intended to illustrate a point of wisdom or morality. A hyperbola is a parabola that’s been so exaggerated beyond reason that it’s laughable and makes no sense.
G-force: the capacity of a dancer’s waistband to hold folded bills, as explored in the study of geology
Higgs boson: Formally, “Higgs boson disease” – a mysterious ailment caused by quantum physics that causes people to gain weight as they get older, for no apparent reason. One of the great mysteries of science. It typically causes major changes in the body’s quark makeup, notably losses of the charm quark, and frequently increases in the mass of the bottom quark, in many cases necessitating an increase in pant size.
Blood culture: a social plague where crime groups become organized and compete for dominance.
String Theory - A popular YouTube channel dedicated to twine products of all descriptions
Age of Exploration: the phase in any teenagers’ development when they experiment with sex.
Genotyping: Having a big Italian guy in your office’s secretarial pool.
Isometric: I have completely stopped using feet, miles, acres, pounds, and gallons.
Albedo: The Romanized name of Al Badawi, a medieval scholar who spent his entire life in the desert studying the nomadic life of his tribesmen.
Calibration: President Coolidge’s slight wiggling, showing a little more of himself on either side, over time.
Atomic unit: a unit of study so small that nobody will have any difficulty catching up on it during the break before the class