Surface tension: What you typically feel on a first date, before you get to know the other person better.
Snap-through tension: When you’re six months into the relationship and are annoyed by how he/she walks, talks, sits and breathes.
science: colony insects with special mental powers – also, a gathering of those insects making an effort to contact the stepped-upon
Escape velocity: How fast you need to be going when your wife asks if this dress makes her look fat.
Plate tectonics: Figuring out how to balance ceramic tableware while mixing drinks.
Standard model: The one you get when you only pay base price. It has no sunroof, basic upholstery, and an underpowered four-banger.
This is correct, of course, but it’s not only the stepped-upon that are bereaved. It’s also the sprayed-upon, the swatted, the glued, the poisoned, and those who have become bird food in the great Natural Order, casually snagged by a passing robin. Life is hard when you’re an insect. It’s no wonder they always seem so angry.
Herbology: The study of people named Herb.
Entomology:
Clouseau: Our murder victim was an entomologist.
Dreyfus: What do they study?
Clouseau: Ents.
Bioluminescence: Putting a spotlight on someone’s life’s story.
theory: a popular voice-activated command/response program
Phylum: What to do when your fingernails are too long and raggedy.
Laser: in science fiction, it refers to an opportunity to annihilate grotesque alien life and have fun at the same time.
X-rays: Porn stars known more formally as “Raymond.”
Terminology: an easier word for the scientific study of death.
nuclear: a hitherto undiscovered hue
luminiferous æther: what the hell, never try to light a cigarette around this stuff – are you trying to use up all the phlogiston in the room?
Kingdom: Graceland.
Extraction: The popularity an idea, product, etc. used to enjoy.
Ruminant: An insect which rents from you.
Hive Mind: Winnie the Pooh needs hunny!