Marry me and lose 50 or more pounds, guaranteed!

This is a quote from my lovely wife in another thread:

Now, the really odd thing is that my first wife decided to do WW while we were married, and she lost 60 lbs ( and has kept it off ). Add that to Gingy’s 50 lbs, and somewhere in there I’ve lost one entire wife! ( A petite one, at least, maybe an Asian mail order bride ). I know it’s not my first wife, she’s still happily cashing my checks, and I know it’s not Ginger, because I can see and feel her everyday, so my question is; Who’s that other wife? It’s a mystery, I tell ya, a real puzzler.

Anyhow, I’m thinking I can cash in on this. I’ll place an add : “Marry me and lose 50 or more lbs, guaranteed!” For an exorbitant charge, I’ll marry them, they lose the weight, I move on to the next one. Instead of women worldwide telling their friends “I’m getting on Atkins”, they’ll be saying “I’m getting on Weirddave”. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.

The only drawback I can see is that, after they see my face, I am not sure I will be able to convince anyone that the weight loss dosen’t come from constant feelings of nausia killing the appetite.


what if we just get engaged? I only need to lose 30.
(Congratulations Ginger)

Take my wife.


All that effort just to get women “on” you?

It’s a novel approach…it just might work!

Women don’t want diamonds and cars and fancy dinners–they want firmer asses!

Weirdave Diet Plan now with nuts!

Shirley - he is nuts.

Your other wife ran off with the bellhop and the missing dollar from that hotel brain-teaser.

Let’s see, assuming he weighs around 180 pounds [sub]I have no idea, but I’m setting up a joke, see?[/sub], that’s 180 pounds of nuts.

I think my Points Finder just exploded!

But your Dave’s already married!

I wonder if this diet applies to all Daves. Hmmm…


Darn…I though this thread was going to be something along these lines.

I’m like Amarinth - I only want to lose 20 or 25 lbs, tops. Can I just be your “kept woman” or something like that?

Notice: Dave isn’t entertaining the thought of keeping another woman around, or indulging in serial marriages.


Hehee. He’s not home. I guess we’ll find out later.

We’ll have to go to Canada to get married.

No, no, of course not, I was just funning.

[sub]Pssst! Porcupine, my email’s in my profile![/sub]