. . . The doctor was surprised!
Mary had a little lamb,
A little pork, a little ham.
A little lobster on the side–
It’s little wonder Mary died!
Mary had a little lamb,
The butcher killed it dead.
Now she takes the lamb to school
Between two hunks of bread.
Mary had a little cat
She fed it on tin cans.
And when the little kittens came
They came in Ford sedans.
Mary had a little lamb,
She took it on the El
And when they got up to the Bronx
That lamb was black as —
Mary had a little lamb.
She ate it with mint jelly.
Everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb went, in her belly.
Mary had a little bear
To whom she was quite kind.
And everywhere that Mary wend,
You’d see her bear behind.
Mary had a little sheep,
With the sheep, she did sleep,
The sheep turned out to be a ram,
Mary had a little lamb.
Lord, those are great, I’d never heard them! Also pre-1930, by the sound of 'em. Keep them coming! Next we’ll start in with “The boy stood on the burning deck” parodies . . .
Mary had a little lamb
And why I do not know
But one thing that I’m certan of
That kid has a hell of a rack. Damn!
Mary had a little lamb,
its fleece was black as soot.
And everywhere that Mary went,
it put its sooty foot.
Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck
She put them on the windowsill
To see if they would… fall off.
Sorry, but it’s the only alternative “Mary had a little lamb” I know.
[Hijack]I can’t recall where I heard them (though I definitely encountered them post-1990), nor can I say that I know of any “The boy stood on the burning deck” parodies. I’d be interested to see what you’re talking about.[/Hijack]
Mary had a little lamb
who posted on The Dope.
To get to know Hal Briston
became its favorite hope.
Mary had a little sheep.
It went to bed with her to sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram,
And Mary had a little lamb!
Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its ass
And turned its wool to nylon.
Mary had a little lamb
a little pork, a little jam,
a little egg, a little toast,
some pickles, and a great big roast,
an ice cream soda topped with fizz
and boy how sick our Mary is.
Mary had a little lamb,
No bigger than her pinky.
I’d tell you where she kept it,
But the answer’s much too kinky.
Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck.
She took it 'round the corner
To teach it how to
Fry some eggs for breakfast
Fry some eggs for tea
The more you eat
The more you drink
The more you have to
Peter had a boat
The boat began to rock.
Up jumped Jaws and bit off his
Cocktails, ginger ale,
40 cents a glass.
If you don’t like them,
Shove it up your
Ask no questions,
Tell no lies,
I saw the Boogey Man doing up his
Flies are bad, mosquitos are worse
And this is the end of my nutty little verse.
I plan on teaching that to all of my friends’ kids one day. I’m starting with my cousins.
Mary took a little pill
That caused hallucinations:
Three-headed lambs with fleece of green!
And other odd sensations!
I’d not heard any of these! Wasn’t aware I’d been living under a rock. Keep ‘em comin’!
I AM THE MASTER
OF MY FATE!
I AM THE CAPTAIN
OF MY VOLLYBALL TEAM!
I’ll work on "The boy stood on the burning deck " a little later.
Now I’ve got that clapping game song that we used to sing in grade school stuck in my head. Thanks a bunch. :mad: Stupid brain o’ mine.
~Tasha
Mary had a little lamb
You’ve heard all this before.
But did you know she passed her plate
and had a little more?
Mary had a bicycle,
It was as red as fire.
But every time Mary wanted a ride,
The bicycle had a flat tyre.
I sure hope this one ain’t pre-1930…
Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in her closet
Every time she took it out
It left a small deposit