The boy stood on the burning deck.
His feet were full of blisters.
And when he burnt his trousers off,
He borrowed a pair of his sister’s!
(From the TV version of Mapp & Lucia, as recited by Quaint Irene.)
The boy stood on the burning deck,
His limbs were all a-quiver.
He gave a cough, his leg dropped off,
And floated down the river.
Mary had a little lamb.
Its fleece was black and short.
I tried to pet it yesterday.
Next week I go to court.
Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a heater
And every time it turned around
It burned its little seater.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
This one does not.
And the ever popular:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
“If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it!”
Mary had a little lamb
Lobster and some pie
Chicken and some roast beef
Plus half a loaf of rye.
It made the haughty waiter grin
To see her order so
And when they carried Mary out
Her face was white as snow.
Mary had a little lamb,
The doctors were surprised.
But when Old MacDonald had a farm
You should’ve seen their eyes!
I know this as:
Mary had a little lamb,
His fleece as black as soot
And everywhere that Mary went
His sooty foot he put.
I like the flow of that better. 
And, of course,
Stella ella ohhh la, quack quack quack, say ess chico chico, chico chico chack, say ess chico chico velo, velo, I like to blow my nose! Say one, two, three, four…
(Seriously, what does that rhyme even mean?)
Mary has a little cam
That sits atop her screen
And everything that Mary does
(No matter how obscene)
Is shown in streaming video
As long as you’re eighteen.
Mary had a little lamb.
Its fleece was black as ink.
And everywhere that Mary went,
She washed it in the sink.
(From one of those Weekly Reader-type magazines in grade school.
…
There was a young man named McWeaver,
Who fornicated a beaver.
The result of this fuck,
Was a platypus duck,
Two geese, and a golden retriever.
(from a toilet stall in Normandale Community College)