I’m looking over
My dead dog Rover
That I just hit with the mower
One leg is missing
The other is gone
The rest of him’s scattered all over the lawn
…erm, is there more to this? There should be, if there isn’t.
Yay, these were fun! Love the regional differences.
Ours was Miss Suzie, and we had a different ending too.
Assk me no more questions
tell me no more lies
Miss Suzie told me all of this
the day before she
Dyed her hair a-purple
She dyed her hair a-pink
She dyed her hair a-black & blue
and it began to stink/and washed it down the sink!
The stink/sink debate was huge in fourth grade. 
I’m embarassed at the fact that I know almost every song that’s been posted to this thread.
IIRC,
In walked the doctor
In walked the nurse
In walked the lady with the alligator purse
Measles said the doctor
Mumps said the nurse
Nothing! said the lady with the alligator purse
There’s more, I think. It’s very repetitive in my memory, but that doesn’t surprise me, being that it’s from when I was what, 10?
The ending that I remember for the Tiny Tim song is:
Miss Lulu kicked the doctor
Miss Lulu kicked the nurse
Miss Lulu kissed the lady with the alligator purse!
Also there was one I learned at camp:
We are the girls from Starlight Revue
We’ll take it off and show it to you!
We’ve got style, we’ve got class
We like to wiggle our big…toes!
Ooooh ooooh! I know this one!:
I met my boyfriend at the candy store
He bought me ice cream
he bought me cake
He bought me home with a bellyache.
Mama Mama I’m so sick
Call the doctor QUICK QUICK QUICK!
Doctor doctor, will I die?
Count to five and you’ll be alive.
1! 2! 3! 4! 5! I’m alive
And it ain’t no jive!!!
And there’s also:
I don’t wanna go to Mexico no more more more!
There’s a big fat policeman at my door door door.
He grabbed me by the collar and made me pay a dollar
I don’t wanna go to Mexico no more more more!
Now I need to find some string to play cat’s cradle with my niece!
How can it be that no one’s mentioned the cafeteria lunch song?
Grrreeeat green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Chopped up baby parakeet
French fried eyeballs rolling down a dirty street
Oops, I forgot my spoon,
So I’ll use a straaaaaaaw. (SLLLLUUUUURRRRRP!)
Our version of Suffocation went:
Suffocation, die of suffocation
Suffocation, the only way to go!
First you take a pillowcase
Then you put it on your face
Go to bed, wake up dead, whoa oh oh oh
Suffocation, die of suffocation
Suffocation, the only way to go!
First you take a garden hose
Then you stick it up your nose
Turn it on, then you’re gone, whoa oh oh oh
Suffocation, die of suffocation
Suffocation, the only way to go!
(to the tune of Alloutte)
This would be from Baltimore in the mid-seventies. (I think it would be interesting if people maybe included location and era info for their variations–maybe we can spot some patterns!)
Wow - lots of versions of Mary Had a Steamboat. The one I remember is similar to C3’s version:
Mary had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Mary went to heaven
The steamboat went to
Hello operator
Connect me number nine
If you do not connect me
I’ll kick you in your big
Behind the refrigerator
There is some broken glass
Mary sat upon it
And cut her little
Ask me no more questions
I’ll tell you no more lies
Mary told me all this
just before she died.
I can’t believe nobody’s posted:
I’m Popeye the sailor man
I live in a frying pan
I turn on the gas
and burn up my ass
I’m Popeye the sailor man
I’m Popeye the sailor man
I live in a garbage can
I eat all the worms
and spit out the germs
I’m Popeye the sailor man
I sang a version that went:
Glory, glory hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I shot her in the bean
With a German submarine
And now she’s black and blue
I can’t believe I forgot that one!
Come to think of it…Could my DAD have actually taught me that? How long has that one been around?
Our version went:
Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey butts
Little birdy tweety feet
French fried eyeballs floating down a bloody stream
And I forgot my spoon!
But I brought a straaaaaaw! (Slllluuuurrrp!)
We always said, “Little dirty birdy feet” and the rest of phouka’s lyrics.
(I actually sing this song all the time…I’m 32 - how sad is that?)
I don’t wanna go to Mexico no more, more, more
There’s a big, fat policeman at the door, door, door
He’ll take you by the collar,
Make you eat a dollar,
I don’t wanna go to Mexico no more, more, more.
(And then you tap the other kid on the top of his/her head as quickly as you could after the last word was said.)
Bobo, ski ot-dot
Oom not, oom nay-nay
I am boom-boom, eenie-meenie, dot-dot
Bobo, ski ot-dot!
“On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table, and onto the floor,
And then my poor meatball rolled right out the door.”
I think there’s more verses, detailing the fate of the poor meatball, but darned if I can remember them.
"Hi! My name is Bob.
I have a wife and three kids and I work in a button factory.
One day, my boss came up to me and said, ‘Bob, are you busy?’
I said, ‘No.’
He said, ‘Push this button with your right hand.’ "
And then it repeats, with Bob pushing buttons with his left hand, feet, and nose. Along with accompanying hand and foot motions. Takes a while.
There’s another one with a caterpillar:
"I was sittin’ on a fence post, chewing on my bubblegum <smack smack smack>
Playing with my yoyo <whee-ew whee-ew>
When along comes Herman the worm. And he was this big.
And I said, ‘Herman! What happened?!’
He said, ‘I ate my mom.’ "
The song goes on, and Herman gets bigger and bigger as he eats his other family members. The last line he comes and he’s really small again. “Herman! What happened?!” “I burped.”
no sense explaining the one leg remaining
it’s spinning on the carport floor
I’m looking over my dead dog Rover
who I over looked before.
I’m looking over my dead dog Rover
who I hit with the power mower
my dog’s not eating, he no longer barks
he hit the propeller and turned into sparks
no need explaining there’s no dog remaining
he’s a part of the lawn you see
I’m looking over my dead dog Rover
who I sent to eternity.
Having a collection of Dr. Demento records pays off!
Wow, this thread really took off!
Someone will have to finish this one…I can’t remember it all:
(sung to the tune of “Battle Hymn of the Republic”)
I saw a burning body fall from forty-thousand feet,
He kicked, he screamed, he clawed the air,
My God! It was so neat…
(can’t remember the rest of the verse)
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die!
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die!
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die!
…and he’ll never go home again!
Last I heard (actually a couple months ago. Sharon Lois and Bram are fun)
Measles said the doctor
Mumps said the nurse
Chicken pox said the lady with the alligator purse
Penicillin said the doctor
Penicillin said the nurse
Pizza! said the lady with the alligator purse
Out went the doctor
Out went the nurse
Out went the lady with the alligator purse
Snickers I remember Herman the worm! You have to say his name more like ‘Hoi-men!’
Down down baby
Down down (the roller coaster)
Sweet sweet baby
Sweet sweet (don’t let me go)
Shimmy shimmy cocoa puffs
Shimmy shimmy down
Shimmy shimmy cocoa puffs
Shimmy shimmy down
I’ve got a lover (a biscuit)
He’s so sweet (a biscuit)
Like a cherry tree (a biscuit)
Two times a turtle
Pull down your girdle
Two times a turtle
Pull up your girdle
Shake hands with Myrtle!
That’s what I remember.
My mother told me to open the door
The crazy old man from China
I opened the door he fell on the floor
TCOMFC
My mother told me to put him to bed
TCOMFC
I put him to bed, off fell his head
TCOMFC
My mother told me to take him outside
TCOMFC
I took him outside (forget)
TCOMFC
My mother told me to bury him deep
TCOMFC
I buried him deep, out stuck his feet
TCOMFC
Missing verses
My mother told me to look in the sky
TCOMFC
I looked in the sky, he spit in my eye
TCOMFC
All I can recall right now.
Did you ever think when a hearse went by
That you would be the next to die?
They wrap you in a bloody sheet
and put in in the ground so deep.
The first few days it isn’t bad.
But then the casket starts to seep.
The worms crawl in
the worms craw out and some play
pinochle on your snout.
Your body turns a gastly green
And pus runs out like whipping cream.
And that’s the end of a perfect life.
To the tune of “This Land is Your Land.”
This land is my land, this land ain’t your land
I’ve got a shotgun, and you ain’t got one
If you don’t get off, I’ll blow your head off
This land was made for only me
I remember versions to many of the little ditties mentioned, and have passed some on to my children, who’ve then passed them on to their friends. Can’t let a great tradition die.