Take your next vacation in a brand new Frigidaire.
Yeah, but we were doing this in the late 70’s/early 80’s - and our words were different, but closer to monster’s than the ones from Big.
Woke up in the morning
Looked up on the wall
The cooties and the bedbugs
Were having a game of ball
The score was 6 to nothing
The bedbugs were ahead
The cooties scored a homerun
And knocked me out of bed!
Sometimes this song had a chorus that went:
Hambone, hambone, ain’t gonna work no more
Worked last night
And the night before
Ain’t gonna work no more, no more!
Oh, yeah, we used to sing that one too, but it was skeeters, not cooties. It had a chorus that went:
I’m singin’ eenie meenie and a miney mo
Catch a whipper-whopper by its toe
And if he holler-holler-hollers don’t let him go
Eenie meenie and a miney mo
Verse 2:
I woke up Tuesday morning and ordered ham and eggs
I ate so many pickles the juice ran down my legs
On top of old smokey
all covered with blood
I shot my old teacher
with a .44 slug.
I shot off her finger
and then her big toe
snd then her right kneecap
was the next thing to go
I shot in her stomach
and all over the place
and then I got ready
and blew off her face.
the blood was all over
and covered the ground
and most of her body
was not to be found.
I got me a bucket
and sccoper her right in
all of her organs
and most of her skin.
I went to the butcher
to sell him the meat
but he didn’t want it
cause he saw her feet
hehe I think it went on for 30 more verses. You’d probably get sent to jail for threatning if you sung that now.
This wasn’t a schoolyard rhyme, but the thread title keeps reminding me of:
Mary had a little sheep
With the sheep she went to sleep
The sheep turned out to be a ram
Mary had a little lamb.
Here’s another thread full of similar playground ditties.
It was Miss Sue where I went to school, too. (Ann Arbor, Michigan, 1980’s)
But for the life of me I cannot remember what happened after she
I’m guessing that the lack of recess and the increase in political correctness has put a squelch on interesting children’s songs.
Some time ago, because my RL name is “Mary” and I get a lot of garden/lamb jokes, I came up with the following:
[quotes]
Mary had a little lamb–
boy was she surprised.
[/quote]
mumps said the doctor
measles said the nurse
nothing said the lady with the alligator purse!
It’s kind of amazing how, despite having not heard this for 15 to 20 years, I still hate it with unbridled passion.
Isn’t the point of this song to not actually say any swear words? 
Oh, ditto. Except for me it was Joe (not Bob) and this one wasn’t a playground song. They made us sing it in music class.
And we didn’t push the buttons, we turned them.
I saw a jolly hunter
With a jolly gun
Walking in the country
In the jolly sun.
In the jolly meadow
Sat a jolly hare.
Saw the jolly hunter.
Took jolly care.
Hunter jolly eager-
Sight of jolly prey.
Forgot gun pointing
Wrong jolly way.
Jolly hunter jolly head
Over heels gone.
Jolly old safety catch
Not jolly on.
Bang went the jolly gun.
Hunter jolly dead.
Jolly hare got clean away.
Jolly good, I said.
Similar to “The Song That Never Ends” was this one:
My name is John Johnson
I live in Wisconsin
I work in a lumbermill there
The people I meet
When I walk down the street
They ask me "What’s your name?’
And I say
My name is John Johnson…
Several different kids taught me this song, and one swore that you had to pronounce the name “Yon Yonson” or you “weren’t doing it right!”
McDonald’s is your kind of place
Hamburgers in your face
French fries between your toes
Dill pickles up your nose
And don’t forget those frosty shakes
They come from polluted lakes
McDonald’s is your kind of place!
Cited in a 1925 newspaper, as a column filler:
I’ve heard another version:
My name is Yon Yonson
I come from Visconsin
Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho.
Vhen I valk down the street
All the peoples I meet
Say, “Hello, Yon Yonson, hello!”
When you’re swimming in the creek
And an eel bites your cheek
That’s a moray!
And if we’re gonna get scatological…
How dry I am
How wet I’ll be
If I don’t find
The bathroom key
I found the key
But where’s the door
It’s too late now
It’s on the floor
Wheeeeeeen
Your nose is kinda runny
And you think it’s kinda funny
But it’s not
jump-rope rhymes? ooooo, yeah. chants, really, more than actual songs.
Cinderella
Dressed in yella
Went upstairs to kiss her fella
Made a mistake
Kissed a snake
How many stitches did it take?
{speed up the rope twirling, and count out until the jumper misses}
One, two, three…
{this one you acted out the directions for each line}
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn all around
Teddy bear, teddy bear, touch the ground
Teddy bear, teddy bear, jump so high
Teddy bear, teddy bear, say good-bye! {jumper jumps out}
old (i mean old) hand-clapping songs…
to Take Me Out to the Ballgame
Take my out to the hospital
Take me up to my room
Give me some shots, for I don’t care
For I’m in love with Dr. Kildare {hug yourself at his name}
For it’s root, root, root for the hospital
If they can’t win, it’s a shame (yeah, it didn’t make a lot of sense back then either)
For it’s one, two, three shots you’re out
At the old hos–spiiiit-al (nobody said kids were great at meter back then)
one of those endless ring games where you act out the verses and select the next player based on where you are when the verse comes up:
Bluebird, bluebird, in and out my window \ * whoever is “it” weaves in and out of*
Bluebird, bluebird, in and out my window > * the circle of players, who are *
Bluebird, bluebird, in and out my window / * crouched down with spaces between*
Oh, Johnny, I’m so tired. – * “It” person stops at closest player in ring *
Take a little girl and tap her on the shoulders
Take a little girl and tap her on the shoulders >* tap new “It” person all through*
Take a little girl and tap her on the shoulders / * verse, then take their spot in*
Oh, Johnny, I’m so tired. / * circle *
Bluebird, bluebird… ad infinitum – * new “It” starts weaving thru circle *
hey, anybody remember “Duck Duck Goose”?
Here’s the version I remember:
Miss Susie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Susie went to heaven,
The steamboat went to
Hello operator,
Give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I’ll kick you in the
Behind the refrigerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Susie sat upon it
And broke her little
Ask me no more questions
I’ll tell you no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom,
zipping up their
flies are in the kitchen,
the bees are in the park
the boys and girls are kissing,
in the D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K
Dark, Dark, Dark!