My first post!
There you all are! Now where are we exactly?
Ok i’ll sign too.Anything to get in the club.
greetings all, so when do we learn the secret handshake and get the spankings? 
Howdy, all me and Dexter just signed up yesterday {Hi!}
Be quiet, Dexter, you know you’re not allowed to talk to strangers - you’ll scare them.
I am most definitely a newbie.
Yet another newbie signing in …
I’m a poster after being a lurker, and a Cecil fan for years. All Hail UncleBill!
I am fresh out of Registration, only a couple of weeks. But hey, I’m nearing 100 posts.
As Bill stretched out equals William, and William squeezed down equals Willie, I humbly accept this wholly appropriate signature. Especially from a Southern Belle as yourself. This will be enacted directly, as soon as I figure out how.
Hello, Board. I was a fan of the Straight Dope books before I found out about this website. 
Yes, and I was a fan of soccer before I met an actual hooligan
But I’ve been reading this board for over a year, and reading Cecil’s columns for several years. GUess I should post here before I post anywhere. Now welcome me with open arms :-p
Hey Jalapeno_On_A_Stick! Is your name a reference to part of a comedy routine by… by, um… by some fellow whose name I can’t remember right now? There was also something in there about a cockroach on a stick (pronounced “shteek”, as the talking jalapeno had a Mexican accent…) Anyway, just wondering…
Hi. I’m Simon, and I am a newbie.
Welcome aboard Jalapeno_On_A_Stick!
That certainly sounds like Steve Martin.
It reminds me of a cartoon: The guy is sitting dejected on the curb outside his store, which says “Out of Business”.
It has a big neon logo of a Fish-in-a-Sock.
He tells his friend, “It seemed like a sure thing: Buy Two - Get a Pair”
color me newbie…
:::Lurk mode disengaged:::
huh…wha…Drats! I’ve been De-lurked!
I’ll have to fix THAT!
:::Lurk mode engaging:::
<WHUMP><CRASH>
Hmmm…Can’t seem to go to lurk mode anymore…heh looks like you guys and gals are stuck with me now!
Muhahahah!
Grimace
~~And don’t ask what a Grimace is…I can’t even get a straight answer from McDonalds!
I am newbie. Hear me whine.
HOLA!
::blows kisses to all members of the board::
~ Mag