Sounds good to me. And I don’t give a damn about height or penis size. I think women are more likely to discriminate by the former rather than the latter, but I don’t get either.
Here’s how I see it. If you asked me, I’d tell you I’m attracted to a certain type of man. And “tall” would be part of that description.
But there’s so much more to the reality that it’s meaningless. A few years ago I met a guy working in on of my construction projects that was my type to a “T”. I noticed him right away and he seemed kind of into me. We talked and flirted but there was never quite enough there for either one of us to take the leap and close the deal.
At around that time, I did some work for another guy. I’d worked for him before. He was not my “type” at all. He was nice looking but shorter than me, and balding. But that day we just started talking. And when the job was done, we were still talking so we walked to a coffee shop and talked some more. Then we went out to dinner the next night, it was just sort of natural and organic and easy.
So while I do have a type, all that means is I’m possibly going to notice you a little quicker. If you’re not my type I’m not ruling you out. It’s ultimately about the person, not the stereotype.
ETA: I couldn’t care less about penis size, it’s totally insignificant. It’s so insignificant that I find it amusing how much guys care which makes it tempting to tease them about it. But it’s meaningless to me.
Sure, and that’s cool. And for short dudes, it’s unfortunate but a fact of life that “tall” is a part of more women’s type than “short” is–just like in the US, “skinny” is a preference for more men than “fat.” I mean, I’m happily married to an amazing woman, so short dudes are obviously someone’s type, but even if we were super niche, it’s not like that’s really anyone’s fault. Patriarchy hurts us all.
Where it moves into something beyond unfortunate is where people talk about it unasked, or where it shows up in job discrimination and the like. And it sometimes does–nowhere near to the degree that body-judging does for women, but it does.
Agree…(right on man!) If I saw a woman put that she likes tall dudes in a dating profile, it’s fine. But If a man had a preference for thin women stated in their profile… some people might get pissed.
I know better than to say ‘I can’t help being short, but you can always lose weight’ because many people can’t… But there’s still a degree of it being out of my control.
Quit while you’re ahead.
You’re probably right… I regret even bringing up the last part.
Sure, some people might get pissed. But obviously some people get pissed about height discrimination, or you wouldn’t have made this thread.
True-true… Though not a lot of people bring it up. I can see why they are scared too.
I don’t want to step on anyone else causes… I just want people to be all-around more mindful. I swear I’ll try to so the same.
As a guy who stands tall at 5’6", I’ve long since come to terms with the fact that it is perfectly acceptable to disparage my height in personal as well as professional settings. And, the only consequence of mentioning that this shouldn’t be acceptable is getting tagged as having a Napoleon Complex. There really is no way to win, but just ignore it.
Cool that I now have your permission to body-shame women because once I heard a woman body-shame a man.
That’s how that works.
It is a deal. It really is all the same cause, you know?
SmartAleq explaining where it stems from is quite different than giving it a stamp of approval. S/he went on to explain that it’s wrong all around, numerous times.
Good fuckin’ luck getting a man to understand anything that challenges his privileges or the patriarchy he benefits from every damned day.
Do you think women would be different if the shoe were on the other foot, and it were a matriarch(?) system? Or do you think they’d be just as oblivious?
Also, what is it in particular that you want men to understand? Body shame?
I don’t know, let’s try it for about oh, say 500 years that way and we’ll see how it goes!
I disagree. It’s just more body shaming.
Body shaming women is ubititous. It’s not just “shaming”, there’s this pervasive assumption that women exist for the purpose of pleasing men. Once, in the office, a couple of women were talking about skorts, which were a thing that year. And some guy says, “I dunno, they never make a woman look great”.
Now, I had purchased a pair of skorts because back then, there were still a lot of situation where socially I was required to wear a skirt, not pants, and skorts have most of the virtues of pants. (Like, you don’t have to worry that if you sit down carelessly you will show off your underwear.) I was NOT buying them to please this co-worker. But he just casually assumed that of COURSE that’s what women’s clothing is for.
And if a woman is fat, or otherwise unattractive, got help her, people will say to her face that she ought to hide herself.
But none of that makes it okay to shame men for having a small dick. I mean, talk about something a guy has no control over, and that only matters to his intimate partners – not to you or me.
I’m trying to be understanding… I feel as if you’re mad at me. Or you just don’t think much of me. I know I’m privileged, but that doesn’t mean I have this great life. I’m trying to listen but your acting combative instead of trying to inform.
“mad at me” sounds too personal… You don’t care for certain aspects of men.
I’m not mad at you, I’m pissed off at the pervasive patriarchal system that damages every single person who has to live in it, either because they’re victims of it or from the expanded sense of adequacy the unearned privilege brings. I’m pissed off at disingenuous remarks like this one:
Which perfectly demonstrates just how intellectually devoid a person can get when they coast off their privilege rather than ever once challenging their own assumptions or making that giant cognitive leap to say “Hmmm, maybe that Other Person might have a point, what say I imagine what the world would look like if everything they said was gospel truth and how would I feel if I were on the wrong side of that system?”
Women have to go around all the goddamned time worrying about men and what they’re thinking and feeling because if we get it wrong we get repercussions that range from rude remarks and go all the way up to violent death–sometimes just because, in some guy’s own imagination, we wronged him in some way. We existed wrong, we didn’t fuck him when he wanted us to, didn’t give him the right attention he feels entitled to, didn’t worship his dick the way he feels he should be worshipped. We get the repercussions all our lives and it changes us.
Hence my suggestion that we try some matriarchy for a few hundred years because THAT is how long it would take to unlearn what we know now, to raise a couple generations who think differently and have that become a calcified SYSTEM rather than a sorta kinda custom. That is how fucked up gender politics is in this world right now, but only maybe half the world sees that. And that is a problem.