FWIW I do find the top urban dictionary definition of the op’s self-chosen username a bit telling in the context of this thread …
I object to that because I predate that entry. It is actually an old Southern word that doesn’t mean much in particular except for a vaguely contemptuous figure and it has been around for well over 100 years. My best friend gave me the nickname in junior high so I used it here.
Or he named himself after a small island in the Antarctic.
That is how textbook narcissism works. This guy thinks he is the standard by which all other people should be judged. It would never occur to him that the woman might have turned him down because she found a guy who scored a solid 9 on Hot or Not, HBS grad, Prometheus Society member, can bench/squat/leg press 1400 lbs, had lunch with the Secretary of State, has a business degree from the top INTERNATIONAL school (INSEAD), lives in a Soho Manhattan high rise, drives a Mercedes (hard top with moon roof…because he’s not a tool), and was in GQ’s Best dressed. He’s only been in 12 motion pictures…but did win a two Golden Globes and an Academy Award for two of them.
Also he doesn’t wear silver ties with pink shirts, and doesn’t have a face shaped like a big tie having trouble taking a dump.
Shagnasty, did you read this? I’m curious how this guy comes across to you. Do you see in his writing what we see in yours? Because the parallels are there, even if your posturing is not as flagrant as his.
This is from a while back, and I was going to comment on it then, but real life happened.
Anyway, your experience is different because you are talking about causal dating in college, when fewer people are taking active measure to seek committed relationships leading to marriage. It would be strange to have that as a checklist. Bring up wanting a committed relationship on the first date would be a damn good way of never having a second date.*
*(Outside of Mormondom, where college aged kids are strongly encouraged to quickly pair up and get married. As insane as it sounds, it not uncommon for couples to be engaged by the third date.)
However, it’s completely different with online dating for people in the 30s and 40s who know what they want. Note that the person is not asking for a committed relationship with that person, they are looking to see if the person is open to that type of relationship. For many people not having that would be a deal breaker.
Shag himself has a number of deal breakers, as do most people. Having deal breakers itself isn’t a problem. It helps you narrow the field, since it’s pretty much a numbers game.
Some people don’t want a partner with kids. Others don’t want someone who smokes. Or someone who drinks. Or doesn’t drink. Is a particular religion or isn’t a particular religion. Whatever.
A huge deal breaker for many people who have signed up with these sites would be someone who isn’t interested in a committed relationship, doesn’t want to get married or doesn’t want to spend that much time together.
I didn’t see the original thread, but it sounds like Shag wasn’t informing dates of these things until after the first date, which isn’t cool because it is such a big deal for lots of people. If one is only interested in just having arm candy, the kind thing would be to tell their potential dates.
Incredibly hot women in their 30s and 40s could be having dates seven nights a week, but they also face the same difficulties of winnowing down the field. Many of them simply aren’t interested in dates – even when the guy picks up the tab – if there isn’t a potential committed relationship down the road. Many of these women are actively seeking for a relationship and not looking to simply be arm candy for some random guy no matter what other qualities he has.
If he weren’t so upset about people who don’t meet his criteria, then at least there would be the defense of "Well, I don’t care about dates with people who waste my time so why should they? Not a particularly great defense after the first dozen times or so but at least it wouldn’t be hypocritical.
Were he meeting women in person or only on hookup sites then it would be a different story.
Ah. So that’s how it got the meaning! 
it’s him!
Sounds yummy. Among the ingredients are some ham, some turkey, some arugula for pretension, and of course a few nuts. (And it’s a classic American - a variety of ethnic ingredients mixed together.)
I have to admit, that “even the people I am really close to” made me smile a little. Nah, not a sociopathic thought process at all!
Maybe you are not parodying the clueless but sociopathic playa wannabe. But it least it reads as good satire!
One of the annoying things about the OP is that he repeatedly refers to how different he is or how his writing style is unique. Nothing about his posts on here ever convey any uniqueness to me. To me he is a total stereotype of the socially awkward IT guy who thinks he is a way better catch than he really is.
You might want to add this to your criteria list: She must be a woman who doesn’t care how poorly you think of women who don’t meet your standards.
An aging drag-queen with with a bleached blond mullet. Now THAT’S my ideal man.
Almost sounds like the world’s most interesting man.
All I can say Shagnasty, is don’t ever change. I’d sooner destroy a stained glass window than ask you to change.
I’ll say one thing in Shaggy’s defense though. Sometimes genuinely self-centered people like him are great to hang around with. Sure, every social interaction is about them, but making sure you’re having a good time is part of making themselves into the hero. So they’ll sometimes make a huge effort ingratiate themselves. The self-centeredness leads to a paradoxical intense concern for other people. And sometimes dealing with people in a straightforward transactional way can be quite refreshing.
So I have no problem believing that lots of people in real life have great, albeit superficial, relationships with him.
And finally, for everyone wondering I think I found this video of Shagnasty proclaiming his world view:
Thank you! I know am a terrible person and always have been. However, I think the gods are continuing to smite me and shine on me at the same time.
I met a 4th grade elementary school teacher today that is a recent widow (it was a local news story about a year ago) in her early 30’s and she has two semi-orphaned kids because of it. She is only wants someone to teach her dating because she married her high school sweetheart and they had a great relationship before he died tragically. I can’t imagine any possible way that anyone that pull on my heart-strings any more than that. She matches me really closely in interests as well. I would have have to be the biggest asshole in the world to do anything to offend her. My intent is to help her recover and enjoy some nice activities. She is willing to do it and we will. That is a perfect example of someone that I will never criticize no matter what.
Thank you! I know am a terrible person and always have been. However, I think the gods are continuing to smite me and shine on me at the same time.
I met a 4th grade elementary school teacher today that is a recent widow (it was a local news story about a year ago) in her early 30’s and she has two semi-orphaned kids because of it. She is only wants someone to teach her dating because she married her high school sweetheart and they had a great relationship before he died tragically.
I can’t imagine any possible way that anyone that pull on my heart-strings any more than that. She matches me really closely in interests as well. I would have have to be the biggest asshole in the world to do anything to offend her. My intent is to help her recover and enjoy some nice activities. She is willing to do it and we will. That is a perfect example of someone that I will never criticize no matter what.
I have already sworn off lawyers because of bad experiences and compliance officers and corporate executives aren’t far behind. I was married to a corporate VP. It isn’t fun.
Just avoid the Carnegie Museum here in Pittsburgh. You’ll see more flip-flops and gasp sports jerseys than you can count.
Seriously, what’s wrong with flip-flops at a museum? It’s fucking hot out.
Flip flops in a museum? Classism against all those barefoot classic statutes.
Keeping in mind the OP has told us he started out in life scraping by, he climbed socially through Tulane to Dartmouth, worked at a fancy restaurant and then married into a wealthy family. There’s none more zealous about observing norms and rules than a convert. He’s so classist b/c he loathes the class he came from; everyone should aspire to a higher class like he did - or else they don’t have any couth. Why, I bet they’d drink milk at a nice bar in flip-flops if they could!
Meh. Monet is like the “flip flops” of French Impressionists.