The short answer is no. Be confident in who you are. Like I said, it’s his loss. Other dopers will be around for fuller replies I’m sure.
I do suggest finding out which of your pictures is the best and sending it first. I do not suggest misrepresenting yourself.
I am not photogenic, but I sent my best to him. He, has yet to send anything of his best to me.
A lot of the people who have responded saying you look great have put ourselves out on display for the world. We’ve linked to our OkCupid accounts, we have pictures on the galleries, etc. You should take our stated word over the implied word of some knucklehead you’ve never seen before. Srsly.
King Bobo, this sounds like it has really taken the wind out of your sails, and how sad to lose a friendship that was forming.
If you guys talked every day for a month I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, but isn’t interested in “just being friends.” Right or wrong, he is fairly sure that a romantic relationship between you two isn’t going to work and he isn’t interested in investing any more energy in it.
This experience might suggest that you exchange pictures earlier in the process of getting to know someone you’ve met online. That way there are fewer surprises for either of you.
Unfortunately, it happens a lot from what I’ve heard with online dating/social sites, so good luck.
YOU LOOK VERY SWEET
If the guy is going to reject you because of that picture, he’s a jerk and you’re better off knowing now. Judging people on their looks is for teenagers and 20 year olds. Once you get past 30, you look the way you look.
Hang in, and find someone who is not as shallow as this guy seems to be.
Love
David
I think believing that looks don’t matter at all is immature, frankly. Otherwise we wouldn’t bother sending pictures at all.
This is quite the mystery because in that photo, you look absolutely beautiful.
Did he maybe think you were younger? If he knew you were in your 40s, it makes no sense because you look GREAT for being in your 40s, but you do look in your 40s. Did he maybe expect a younger woman? A woman in skimpy revealing clothing?
The only other thing I can think of is that he’s a troll (ugly in some way) and once he saw that you are a total babe, he was embarrassed and ashamed to show himself, thinking you are out of his league.
Have you written him e-mails asking why he hasn’t been communicating?
Regardless, he is being a major douche and it’s a shame you wasted time on him.
I thank you all for your replies. You are all so very kind to take the time to ponder my dilemma.
I am going to “bite the bullet” and email a few questions into his court.
KB
Who knows? Maybe he has a legit reason. Just don’t dwell on it.
As I’m sure this thread will have made obvious, there are tons of guys who’d kill to be in this guy’s spot, so don’t worry.
Melon,
you just made my day, thanks.
KB
Aww, shucks.
He’s into brunettes.
Not just men. Women do too. I have had it happen to me. 
This one wasn’t a keeper - good luck finding one who is! 
NO. No, no, NO! That would be one surefire way to sabotage any potential that might be there, IMO.
True story; about 12 or 13 years ago I met someone online through an IM service and began talking to her regularly. We really enjoyed our conversations and eventually moved on to talking on the phone (which was a BIG mistake, she was in Oklahoma and I was in Minnesota and the long distance charges were enormous) and we decided to exchange pictures. I took a quick snap of myself and sent it, she sent something that looked more like a studio shot of some sort; no worries, she looked young and pretty, and from that point on I pictured her photo as I talked to her. Then a month or so later she lets slip something about how she doesn’t like cameras, and I ask her why; she looked great in the photo she sent. Turns out it was her high school photo, and she had put on considerable weight since then and generally stopped caring about how she looks (she literally ‘let herself go’). Now, I still thought she looked pretty but I asked her to send a recent photo, and she finally did, but it was around Halloween time and she sent a photo of her in a costume that pretty much hid most of her face and body. It was obvious she had some major self-esteem issues, and as a heavy person I can relate, but what really threw me off was the deception; if she had been up front with me from the get-go, we might have had a chance, but I was turned off (1) by the deception and (2) her utter lack of self-confidence. I felt bad for her but honestly it’s not my responsibility to play therapist, especially when I have my own issues to deal with. So I pretty much told her that was how I felt (more tactfully, I hope) but no matter what, her decision to misrepresent herself was much more of a deal-breaker than her current looks.
In contrast, I currently know several women who are not “supermodel” material by any means but they are self-assured and while some of them may want to lose weight or get a nose job or think their boobs are too small or whatever, they don’t let those things define who they are; they’ve learned that those are just parts, not the whole, and that if people don’t accept them the way they are, then it probably isn’t worth the effort to earn their approval.
Hell no. I can’t figure out how to look at your picture in the gallery, but I am sure you look fine. Just be yourself. Any lady looks her best when she is just being herself.
I very much doubt he hates how you look, I think you’re doing a bit of awful-ising there.
As we speak to people online, we build up our own ideas of what they look like, and those ideas are no doubt coloured by our own personal preferences are. I’m guessing his imagined picture and the real picture of you didn’t match. But that doesn’t mean hatred, it just means a mismatch.
I’m not proud, but I’ve done it. God, I still feel bad about it.
Hell, maybe he saw your picture and thought, oh shit, she’s WAY out of my league - better slink off.
ETA - looked your picture up - you look fine. Age appropriate. Maybe he expects age inappropriate?
You’re hot. If he thinks anything else, you’re better off.
When I first started talking to guys online, I did all the stupid things - not sending/posting a pic, sending a pic from several years ago, sending a pic that hid relevant features.
It’s never worth it.
King Bobo - you have amazing attributes. A great smile, nice eyes, beautiful hair, a flattering figure.
You say you are not photogenic. I am not either. But I tell you one thing I did for myself back when I was out looking for a romantic connection: I bought a web cam and took pictures of myself with it. The great thing about a web cam is you can immediately delete the one with your eyes closed, that stray hair, etc. And with a little practice, you can get one of yourself where you are smiling, confident, and beautiful (cause you are).
I used to take a new pic of myself every month and update them where appropriate. That way when I showed up for a date I looked exactly like my picture. And there was no guessing. Your pic that you posted is 5 years old. You say you look the same, and we all believe you - but someone who doesn’t know you might wonder. Just remove the doubt - and show them how great you still look!
And, for the record? He did you a favor if he’s not ready for your jelly. You’re too bootylicious for him, babe.