A friend of mine posted on Facebook asking whether people thought the divorce rate might go up after the COVID19 pandemic passes. Hopefully, that’s not a reflection of her marriage. But it seemed like a valid question.
I wonder how many marriages can survive being cooped up 24/7 for an extended period of time, with no outside activities or distraction.
It is likely to be the other way around. Remember the maternity spike nine months after the great 1965 blackout?
It’s a chance for couples to get reacquainted, relieve themselves of some of their stresses, and maybe even get a third party out of the picture for a while.
For myself, we are enjoying not having to get out of bed in the morning, or the leisure of an afternoon nap.
Alas, I expect a lot of replies will be reflections on the poster’s marriage.
I’ve been separated for several years, but still living with my wife. So that’s one divorce that will definitely happen "after’ this but not because of this. There is zero chance of being “reacquainted.” I am happy that I took a low-paying “day job” after several years of self-employment, since I am now “essential” and what’s left of my business is just about gone. So, I am out of the house 60+ hours per week now.
I’ve actually found the opposite. Then again we have two kids, age 5 and 3 in 1145 sq ft. So my experience has been all of the stresses, but without the usual stress relief of being able to go outside and do stuff.
A lot of divorces result from financial issues. There are going to be a lot of couples with financial issues. Ergo, there’s going to be a lot more divorces.
The post-WWII era had a really big spike in divorces. People held off during the depression and the war but the marriages were doomed. Once things got more stable, it was courthouse time.
So don’t expect the spike in the next couple months, but down the road.
I have a couple of friends who are in the middle of divorce proceedings right now. Both their marriages dissolved before the virus.
Everyone is still living together, one because of the virus and the other because the spouse cannot afford to move out but would in a flash, virus or no virus.
The supposed baby boom after the blackout is a myth. Blackout Baby Boom | Snopes.com.
Yep.
You can always spot a RomCom fan.
What stresses are being relieved? Many people are trying to work from home, teach their kids, and keep them busy. If they’re not working from home there are likely money worries, and teaching and feeding the kids, and keeping them happy with fewer resources.
While not all marriages will feel added stress, many will. And money worries are a huge driver of divorce.
Not a reflection on my marriage, but I can imagine other people’s struggles and be empathetic.
I told my gf how thankful I was to have someone I enjoyed being quarantined with.
She said, “must be nice”. What a sweetie.
I think there will be an increase in divorce rates. I’ve read a few cases where one spouse was abusive, but “not enough” to get a divorce over. Now the couple are stuck together 24/7, and the abuser acts even worse.
I’m not expecting more divorces among reasonably healthy marriages.
I thought you guys both pulled in six figures, you live in 1145 square feet for 4 people?
I take it your employer has shut down completely for now. If you’re not particularly stressed, then I assume that you are having no financial difficulties despite the interruption to your income (i.e. you have enough savings to coast for a very long time without becoming concerned).
My wife and I are teleworking from home, so we continue to get out of bed on our usual schedule, and our paychecks continue to arrive on schedule. Our “home office” desks are near each other, but we’re each doing work stuff (for separate employers), so it’s not like we’re stuck staring at each other all day. And our house is big enough to allow us some physical separation as we go about various other daily tasks. And before this started, we lived pretty harmoniously; sure, once in a while we got frustrated or annoyed with each other, but we always talked it out, never yelled at each other or hurled insults, and always apologized when feelings got hurt.
I can see that there are factors for other folks that could make domestic life much more stressful:
-Being out of work means you have a whole lot of extra time to fill each day
-Being stuck at home means you can’t go out to the mall or to dinner at a nice restaurant, or wander downtown
-The loss of income weighs heavily on people who live on a very tight budget
-Living in a small apartment makes it harder to get a break from each other
With the introduction of some/all of these stressors, couples who were previously prone to conflict are surely now prone to much more frequent and intense conflict. A Google-News search for “coronavirus domestic violence” turns up a lot of articles documenting increases in 911 calls and hotline calls.
A search for “coronavirus divorce” turns up articles documenting an increase in divorces in China now that the quarantine there has ended. It seems likely that when the lockdown ends in Italy, the same thing will happen there - and eventually here in the US as well.
Probably either be in NYC or San Francisco. That’s some fine living in Brooklyn and San Jose.
Stranger
I have a large house. And it’s full. 5 adults, 2 kids, 4 dogs, 2 cats. An extra 4 people in and out.
I’ll be happy if no-one commits homicide.
There was an article in the NY Times about the divorce rates in China going up now. More people, especially those quarantined in areas without the virus (or much of it) are now on the rise.
So much this. We’re in a bigger house but with a 4 and 1 year old. I’m working twelve hour days and my wife is working two jobs. We’re out of bed by 5 am to get ready for work by 6 am the kids are up and need breakfast. I’m trying to work by 7am. The eldest’s preschool is trying to do a 1 hour video chat 5 days a week so we’ve got to set that up and entertain the youngest one while they are trying to teach her. Then 9:30 am snack, 12 o’clock lunch followed by nap until 3 so we get some kind of uninterrupted work period. Then 3:30 snack and dinner on the table by 5 pm. Baths at 6:30 bedtime at 7 and then I’m typically on conference calls until 9 when I pass out and do it again.
I can’t imagine trying to fit sex into that schedule. Our life is certainly more stress and less stress relief. No signs of divorce and luckily we’re not having money issues but we’ll both be very happy when life gets back to normal.
Not a marriage but a neighbour went away to isolate with his girlfriend. Two weeks later and he’s back. They split up 
I don’t think the quarantine will cause divorces so much as speed up divorces that were going to happen anyway
It won’t break up any marriages that weren’t already headed in that direction.
