Yep. Along with everyone else who lives in Hoboken, NJ.
I won’t bore you with the details of the Hudson County real estate market, but it is a) expensive and b) extremely convenient to both our jobs in Manhattan (hence..a ).
Count me in on the crowd who feels this situation adds a hefty amount of stress while not relieving any of the stresses of normal life. I’ve already had more fights and more serious fights with my partner. Strongly introverted people like me have a hard time charging their mental batteries, since there is always someone at home, most other places are under lockdown, and even the local woods are packed with noobie outdoorspeople.
This, right here, is why we won’t be going to Mars any time soon.
Oh, sure, it all sounds nice, but when it comes right down to it, it’s not as easy as it looks. For example - retirement.
We were just about to restart the divorce, when Seattle went into work from home.
Cease fire has been called temporarily, but it’s only temporary. Certainly there has been no steps toward reconciliation.
Both my paternal grandfather and his first wife after WWII, and my mom’s best friend’s parents just after the Korean war, divorced for the same reason: when the husband came home from the war after 2+ years away, he discovered that his wife had a newborn.
That, at least, won’t be common after this.
A French writer wrote something to the effect that absence diminishes mediocre passions but augments great ones, like the least wind can blow out a small candle yet a mighty wind will only stoke a bonfire. I think something similar will be at work here. Weaker relationships will suffer and stronger ones will be made stronger. Maybe?
Entirely agreed, but many couples who are taking a financial hit due to the virus will delay and chew on each other’s shins until the financial side of separation is less of a barrier, so just as at the moment divorce business has taken a dip, I expect things will pick up once the crisis is past. BTW forget about getting a divorce in Ontario any time soon – the family end of the courts are pretty much shut down for everything other than emergency motions.
I have a friend in a similar situation.
Rob and Melissa have lived together for three years and were engaged. Rob’s son lived with them full time but in September went away to his freshman year of college. Melissa’s daughter is nine and lived with them 75% of the time. In January they decided to break it off and separate in May when the daughter finished her school year. Melissa was a stay at home mom. Rob worked in the office and was on like 60% travel.
Now, the son is back home full time and taking classes remotely. The daughter is taking her school remotely and not seeing her father at all. Rob is working from home full time and no travel. It’s a fucking powder keg but they are all trying very hard.
Retirement has been pretty easy for me. And being retired has let me ride this out pretty well. No money stress. No stress about whether I’m about to be laid off. Kids are gone and in good shape. Shopping is a pain, we don’t get to go to the theater and to some meetings (though some have turned virtual) but otherwise no problem.
I feel for people trying to work at home with annoying kids. They have it much worse then retired people.
That my wife and I have separate offices helps a lot. And we both have tons to do, so we don’t get on each others nerves.
I am so profoundly grateful my son is eight. I have decided it’s the perfect age for this. When he was 3-5, I would have gone crazy being stuck in the house with him all day every day: he always needed novelty, stimulation, so it was off to the park, or the museum, or the zoo. He’s an only child, but he wanted other kids. I called these the “new park” years–every day he wanted a new park to explore. He simply could not entertain himself. He never wanted to watch TV more than a few minutes. We’d have gone bonkers in the house. I suspect if he were much older, this would be much harder for him than it is now: he’d want to see his friends, he’d be more scared about the situation, he’d be potentially falling behind in school.
But eight? This is great. We hang out. We play cards and board games, we go on short walks, he helps me in the yard. He will sit and play a video game or read his book. I got him a mini-trampoline and he jumps jumps jumps all day to get the energy out. His dad and he do school for a couple hours a day, and that’s more than enough. He’s not resistant. When I am working, he understands he needs to leave me alone.
Anyway, if he were still 3-5, this would be hard on our marriage, because trying to keep the child sane would be stressing me the fuck out. I can’t imagine doing this with a little one.
In multiple countries the majority of crime has gone down, domestic violence has gone up. Additional methods to ask for help are being implemented, including some which sound very underground-railway such as asking the pharmacist for certain non-existing medications.
There’s going to be babies, but there’s also going to be and already is a rise in people taking their babies and getting the hell out.
Which is one of many types of insanity. “Insane” doesn’t refer exclusively to permanent conditions.
So last night I got mad at my roommate wife for the first time in forever. I’m working overnight in a warehouse while everyone around me is losing it and she’s texting me because the financial plan I have for groceries is not acceptable to her. Stores are not open while I’m awake and I don’t even know how to get meals for myself. She just spends whatever and always has and justifies it that she doesn’t have “expensive taste.” So, there’s no new shoes or expensive handbag or whatever, but what she does is like I’ll give her the last $200 we have for food and she comes back with an empty wallet, ingredients for 1 dinner, snacks, and asks if we can order pizza.
I have been doing fine, no worries and no panic for the first time. And I work at a place that supposedly causes depression and suicide attempts. But I will work all the overtime so I can chill out at work because it’s as easy time compared to dealing with my wife.
Mr.Wrekker is used to going and going. He’s curbed it. He has plenty to do around here.
His big gripe is the state park is closed and he can’t get on the lake to fish. He could fish at the River but doesn’t enjoy that as much.
We’re doing fine. Only one trantrum, a big stomping of feet and 3 slammed doors this morning.
Only one of those was by a kid. (:))
I’m a happy camper. I’ve been stuck for a coupla years. I know how it works.
I imagine we’ll see more divorces. Sure, there might be more people getting married or having kids, but that’s not as likely to be noticed as divorces.
On last weekend’s ‘special edition’ of Live PD, they talked to a lot of departments (instead of riding with them) most, but not quite all, of them reported a lot more calls for domestic issues. As people get more and more annoyed spending so much time not just together, but cooped up inside the house, tempers flare, people drink, things get said and suddenly someone is throwing a chair or yelling loud enough for the neighbors to hear.
I saw a meme floating around last week that said “Introverts, check on your extrovert friends, they’re not okay, they don’t know how this works.”
Domestic violence has spiked all over.
Neighbors about two or three doors down just told everyone they are divorcing. Obviously, things like this build up over time, but I think that many breaking points are reached in these situations.
My gf’s brother recently broke up with the woman he’s lived with for the past 15 years. I guess things were pretty messy. A few days after the breakup he stopped by to get a few things he’d left there. She wasn’t home, so he used his key to get in, assuming that was cool.
She had told neighbors about the breakup and one of them called the cops. The police arrived as he was driving away with an opened beer in his car. He was arrested for unlawful entry, resisting arrest (technically his name was still on the lease and he kept telling them that), open container violation, and some other stuff they piled on top.
It eventually got sorted out and he was released, but in the meantime he’d been face-to-face with a ton of people unnecessarily.
Not married, but close enough. I’m home self-isolating, he’s still working. Except last week, he had the sniffles Monday morning, so his work told him to stay home. Turned into a week off work for him which he wasn’t happy about. Me, I love it here and am quite content puttering about the house and garden and hanging with the dogs. Things were getting testy by the weekend.
So yeah, we’re not going to break up over this, but it’s not the usual happy co-habitation we usually have.
I married my best friend and we have enough room in our home to be able to have separate time. I like to think that its all good here. OTOH, a neighbor with a SAH wife and 3 kids in the same sized home is not doing nearly as well. I have been hearing him yelling every time I am out in the front yard.
My sister and her husband have separated. It’s not directly related to the outbreak, but being around each other doesn’t really help.
I haven’t ever really liked him so I’m not torn up about it. My sister is staying with our mom for a month and they will see how it goes.
He’s a hard person to get along with. Very strong opinions about politics and that is his only topic of conversation. It would drive me nuts even if we agreed, which we don’t! I’m surprised my sister and he has stayed together this long. They have been together for over 25 years!