Misread Thread Titles

Do the laws of the Old Testament apply to Christians? in GD

Becomes

Do the laws of the Old Gods apply to Christians?

Uh, no… I don’t think so.

Any others? (Misread sequential is welcome too)

Hey, look at the user titties!

So I’m popping over to the universal library for a bit. Can I get any of y’all anything? keeps provoking a double-take.

My brain* insists *that the OP is “pooping all over” something.

Two previous threads…

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=195693&highlight=misread+thread+titles

And

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=499595&highlight=misread+thread+titles

(Just including them to provide some previous examples. Not to say “This thread has already been done”)

As I said in one of those threads - I’ve misread some titles in some pretty impressive feats of brain-fartery but I am unable to remember specific examples.

seconded

In IMHO there’s

** Battles your parents won’t give up on. **

and I keep seeing “Battles” as “Beatles” and it makes as much sense to me.

I pit Senator Bunning for killing seniors

I keep reading it alternately as

I pit Senator Bunning for killing senators

Well, that’s one way to get ahead in a committee

or

I pit Senator Burning for killing senators

Well, what did you think would happen if you burned them?

I posted in it in the thread, but I keep seeing Do you need financial aid help? as Do you need financial help?, like it’s an offer, and getting excited, only to be disappointed all over again when I see what it really says.

I keep reading Lowest miles per year on a car as ‘Lowest miles per year on a cat’, and I was wondering, “Cats being like to sleep and laze in sun, what do you expect from them?”

“What do you get when you cross X and Y?” became:

What do you get when you cross Gen X and Gen Y?

I’m not sure, but I know it involves flannel and Facebook…

I keep confusing two threads:

Rethinking LBJ…Was He That Bad?

with:

A question I will probably regret asking about BJs.

Really, the mental images produced from a momentary confusion require industrial strength brain bleach.

Developing a good relationship with my new cockatiel

just became in my head

Developing a good relationship with my new cocktail

I have pretty good relationships with my cocktails. They don’t judge me…

What are some examples of intelligent small dogs?
What are some examples of intelligent design dogs?

Yet another extended power outage in New England…
Yet another extended power outrage in New England…

Civil Defense Sirens (TGIF)
Civil Defense Sirens (TMI)

I keep seeing “Pain During Executions?” in GD as “Palin Does Extractions?”

Guffaw!

I remember Tony Randall on Johnny Carson telling about his Freudian slip when he meant to ask his mother to “please pass the butter” but said instead, “You’ve ruined my life, you heartless bitch.”

Sending out generic resume’s
Sending out genetic resume’s

Exes gone berserk!
Execs gone berserk!

There’s a parenting magazine in our bathroom library, and one of the articles inside is touted on the cover as:

My sleepy brain keeps registering this as “36 WAYS TO STRETCH YOUR @$$,” and it seems like some sort of weird goatse.cx spam has found its way into the offices of Today’s Parent.

Is Auchentoshin a Good Single Malt?

Turns into

Is Autism a good Single Malt