Well, since I’m a pretty regular RiffTrax watcher, I guess I’d have to go with Mike Nelson in that debate. Nothing against Joel, though!
Deliberately Misread Thread Title
“How much of the (U.S.S.) Constitution is original”
I believe “the” and “of” survived
What would happen if I drove through a city on March 3rd?
Guess you would march forth.
Adventures in autocracy: Mall military helicopters land at mine, take off with $117M of gold
The mall has an army now?
Who else was orthopedically conceived as a kid?
Athena, is that you?
Who else was orthographically corrected as a kid?
Not me; I emerged from the womb with a gift for spelling!
Car with giardiasis - who has experience?
I did a coolant flush in my '72 Vega and all seemed to be well. Then it developed tertiary syphilis and had to be put down. 
I’m a building, I’m a house! How can you help?
Umm, wow, I don’t know. Do you want people living inside you? If so, I suppose I could move in.
Do adult women wear carpets (AI warning)
…and do they match the drapes? 
Water sports be us, our new MMP
Yes, let’s all participate in competitive swimming, and diving, and rowing…
(Yes, I know about the NSFW meaning of that term, too)
Have you ever had experience(s) dating someone who had the same name as you?
Like, when Taylor Swift dated Taylor Lautner?
Worst Mistake Your Patients Made
Trusting my diploma from the Dunning-Kruger School of Medicine. 
Water sports be us, our new MMP
Do I have to bring my own towel?
Future of the Warhammer Organ in doubt
It was probably a mistake to make all the vocal voices sound like they were saying “WAAAAAGGGHHHH!”
Psst, see Wildabeast 3 up.
Can never have too much God in you!
Well, you can eat (a piece of) him every day at morning mass.