Thanks. 
I agree with the goodluck, but I don’t think you’re being fair to a number of posters here.
The thread’s about mixed signals, and people are offering advice because you seem confused and aprehensive in the OP (and subsequent posts) about what to do next.
So people put some advice out there, and all you’re offering is rolleyes to them.
For someone complaining about mixed signals from a guy, you seem to be pretty defensive about him.
Of course we don’t know what he was writing to you. You never told us. But you did tell us he was giving you mixed signals, and from the sounds of it he was acting pretty flaky. At least, you weren’t too happy with the way he was ignoring you. And from what you did offer to tell us about the situation, people offered some advice.
And now you seem to be getting huffy with the people who “misunderstood” you. I think what we have here, similar to the situation related to us in the OP, is a failure to properly communicate.
Happy
I love how just because you’re hearing things you don’t want to hear, it means we’re not “supporting you”. :rolleyes:
I can’t speak for everyone, but I wrote my post because I was trying to support you. Trying to tell you that I don’t think you should get so upset over something like this at such an early stage is just a way of preventing you from driving yourself crazy by analyzing every detail.
It’s not dating that’s hard, it’s what people make of dating that’s hard. Dating can be fun… experiencing different people, learning more about what makes them tick, etc. But when you start dissecting every little thing and expecting too much out of people that’s when it becomes tedious and frustrating.
Now, we only know what you tell us, so you’re right… we don’t know what he was writing to you. Not our fault, but it is acknowledged. Personally, the things that stood out to me were:
and
and
These things all signal to me (hey, maybe it’s those mixed signals you were talking about) that this might mean a little more to you than it means to him, and that if you just give him a little room then maybe things’ll work out. Or maybe they won’t, and five years from now you’ll do a vanity search and you and your husband can laugh about how worked up you got over some douchebag you met online.
This seems like a good time to flip through that book “He’s Just Not That Into You.” See if the shoe fits. Because if it does, you’re better off knowing sooner than later.
I don’t see it as mixed signals so much as it is this guy probably has stuff going on is his life (or at least is trying to make the appearance). Like if I met a girl tonight (forgetting I live with my ho for a sec), even if I liked her, I have a friend’s party tomorrow. I’m not going to bring her to that because I want to leave my options open. Saturday I may or may not call depending on how tired and busy I am. Earliest would be a Sunday date depending on how hung over I am but if not, then earliest would be to set up something for Weds (which is the new Thursday).
I think I may need to check out this okcupid… meeting girls on Craigs List is hard.
Let us know how drinky drinks went.
As I said, the OP did not come across as I intended: I wasn’t unsure of what to do next, I’d decided that I wasn’t going to go out on a limb again and was just venting that “I really like you! Let’s meet! Here’s my e-mail address, work number, and cell phone number!” followed by days of silence struck me as mixed signals.
Yes, you’re exactly right: several replies in this thread, and the only emoticon I’ve used is the rolleyes.
Not defensive about him, defensive about me.
But the situation was resolved 5 posts after the OP, and people still posted to say “back off,” “give him some space,” “you’re being too aggressive.” That’s what confused/annoyed me.
Yes, you’re exactly right: I’m getting huffy. I haven’t made any sincere attempts to explain further (to both individual posters and the thread at large), or sincere inquiries about how, exactly, I’m badgering this poor guy.
Yes, and I said as much in my post (that my OP somehow went horribly wrong).
Dude, it’s not like I posted about a drug addiction. I vented about a dating situation – a situation that resolved itself before your first reply to the thread. So yeah, posting after the fact just to criticize me pretty much equals not supporting me. It’s a mundane and pointless vent thread, not an “oh no, what should I do” thread.
You took the OP much more seriously than I intended it, and it seems like you’re continuing to take the thread more seriously than I intend. Like Happy said, there seem to have been a lot of mixed signals in this thread – my bad.
Okay, fine. Consider me officially out of it. But let it be known that I wasn’t aware there was a point in this thread when it was “resolved” and that I was posting “after the fact”. I thought this was a place for discussion…
And I only took it as seriously as one can take a comment placed by a stranger on an anonymous message board. :shrug: Good luck on your date.
Just posting to say good luck and congratulations on getting to the “dating” part of online dating. 
Hope your date goes well tonight! Come back with details.
Hope it is going well!!! Just for the record, the whole “not calling, not writing” mixed signal thing was frustrating to me, too, when I was single. Don’t let it get you down!
I have to say this is extremely good advice.
If you had been corresponding with me, you probably also would have had the unpredictable response times thing going. Sometimes I’ll reply the same day, sometimes four days later. It has very little to do with you, and far more to do with whether I was distracted by something on the TV, wanted to catch up on some sleep, saw something shiny, etc. If I wasn’t interested, you probably would never have heard back from me. And if in the course of our correspondence I recognized that I wasn’t interested, I would say so in an email. But you wouldn’t be able to tell by the length of time I took to get back to you 
Right now I’m in that awkward phase where I’ve been corresponding with a couple of people, but have met one person a few times and it is going really well. So I’m going to have to break it off with the other person. I hate that, but I will do it.
We talked for two hours, and he’s an interesting guy, but there was just no “click.” No chemistry. Which in and of itself wouldn’t necessarily preclude a second meeting, but there were also a couple of things about him that I just didn’t care for. But we had a nice enough time, and I told him exactly how I felt before we parted ways; he said that he appreciated my honesty (to which I jokingly replied, “Yeah, right: you mean ‘thanks for nothing, bitch!’”), and he’ll put me on the mailing list for his gigs. Oh well. Nothing ventured nothing gained, and I had a perfectly pleasant evening – and if I hadn’t met him, I know that I would have regretted it.
Now, however, I must go eat something: I had 3 beers on an empty stomach, which is just enough to make me a tiny bit buzzed. I only planned on having two, but my boss’s boss and another co-worker came into the bar ( :eek: ) and bought us a round.
Also, I must change out of these clothes because I reek of smoke. Funny, I never mind/notice the smoke when I’m actually in the bar, but the moment I get home I can’t get changed fast enough.
Thanks for all of the continued replies – even the ones I disagree with – and let’s raise a glass to next time!
Glad you had a good time. FWIW, I think I’d want to meet somebody in person ASAP as well. I never tried anything like internet dating, but I did have two blind dates in my life, and those turned out well.
The first one was back in high school, and we stayed together several months, until her family moved to another state and that was that.
The second one was 20 years and six months ago, and we’ve been married for 20 years and two months now… I guess I’d have to say that based on percentages, my blind dates worked out better than the ones I got for myself. (I mean, hell, I found my first wife all by myself, and look what a shit-pile that deal turned out to be. :eek: )
Keep on keepin’ on. One of these times you’ll catch the brass ring, and in the meantime the chase is half the fun!
Meant to mention this before:
My phone did ring while I was at the bar – at 8pm! :eek:
It was in my pocket, on vibrate, and I didn’t even look at it … I knew it couldn’t be you, but for a split second I thought “Holy shit, it’s QuickSilver!”
(Turns out it was my best friend, calling to invite me to join him, his wife, and their little boy for some pumpkin carving on Sunday afternoon. But now I have a good story. :D)
Thanks. As these things go, it really wasn’t bad: I didn’t come to any conclusions about the guy right away, just enjoyed the conversation as much as possible. About halfway through the second beer is when it kind of hit me that I just wasn’t interested. I’ve absolutely had worse first meetings, though!
Oh, I’m definitely not ready to give up yet. I think the key is that I genuinely appreciate and enjoy men – otherwise I wouldn’t put up with any of your kind.
Yeah, I sometimes have that effect on women. It’s a gift 
Yeah, I kind of walked right into that, didn’t I? :smack: