Modern Family, "Virgin Territory," Feb. 22, 2012 - Season 3, episode 16

Luke: My mom hates messes.
Manny: I’m familiar with Claire.

Gloria: There are blind models? That’s so sad. They cannot see how pretty they are.

Gloria (with disgust): Do you know what a doll is in my village? An apple … on a fork!

Another funny episode - this show just keeps on delivering.

What movie?

I’m going to go against the grain and say Jay and Luke are my favorite characters (yeah, Luke gets a lot of love, but I rarely hear anyone mention Ed O’Neill). O’Neill’s comic timing is dead-on, and both he and the kid who plays Luke are able to make understated funny, unlike the more clownish Phil or Cam. It’s not as difficult to be funny when you have great comedic lines written for you; it’s impressive when you can get comedy from character rather than a punchline.

Gloria drilling the target right in the heart.

“With pretty nails!”

So- Haley’s not a virgin. Somehow that seems… wrong. She still looks about 15 to me.

Loved the callback to S1 and the song Phil taught Claire about the remotes; also loved the slo-mo gangsta rollin’ by to impress the girl down the street. They’re so money.

Until he went backwards with the terrified look on his face. Also, I kind of like that they did it without getting caught…because sometimes kids do things and nothing becomes of it.

Also, I still think one of my favorite lines was from the ‘dr’. “We can fix it but she’ll never regain full mobility because they don’t make that part anymore.”

I was also pleasantly surprised at them not getting caught!

The show said she’s 18.

And I checked and the actress is 21.

“Your mother got mad that I gave you a sip of beer and said you were just a baby. Then you ran out of the house crying. Which kind of proved her point, but anyway…”

And Jay had every detail of that day down pat. I liked when Mitchell tried to make it a tender moment, and Jay used the interruption to act like he had lost his train of thought.

Yeah, that’s not what I meant. (Actually, I think they said she’s almost 18). I’m just saying she looks 15.

I too like that the kids were allowed to do something stupid and dangerous and get away with it without suffering harm or consequences (unless that happens later).

Also like that Haley not being a virgin was treated as upsetting news but not bad news, if you know what I mean.

Those kids are fantastic actors. The initial scene in the car in which Alex spills the beans and Haley looks on in horror was fantastically played.

The older I get, the younger 18-20 year olds look to me. Could be that if we were all still 17 or 18, we’d say “Yeah, she looks exactly her age.” As a 36 year old I say “She looks like a CHILD!”

Especially considering it was, for a sitcom, a long shot and Lilly was in it and even had a line.

Cam; “This had a lid.”

Gloria: Did you check in your car in the …
Jay: Trunk
Gloria: Yes, that’s where you found the thing that you lent me the …
Jay: Pizza cutter. Right, give me another one.

Manny: She’s like a dream poured into a wish wrapped in jeggings.

Manny: Are you crazy?
Luke: You tell me!

Oh, and of course Alex falls in love with a doll that looks exactly like her.

“Don’t call me Thelma! I hate that movie!”
“What movie?”

Has anybody ever seen an American Girl hair salon? They exist- there’s one in Alpharetta GA and you have to make an appointment. I’m not sure if there are any American Girl doctors but it wouldn’t surprise me. (I loved the nun doll in the background, btw.)

It’s amazing that this show has no standout actors. On most other shows any of them would be stand outs but this one is so perfectly cast they just work together seamlessly. (I would say Jesse Tyler Ferguson is the least showcased, but that’s just because he’s, ironically, the straight man.)

And what’s sexier than Claire and Gloria? Claire and Gloria with handguns!

Yep, the NYC American Girl store has a hair salon (including a spa for facials), a photo studio, and a restaurant. As well as lots of fathers with looks of forced enjoyment overlying desperation stuck on their faces.