I got this not from my parents, lucky me, but a large percentage of the rest of my extended family.
“When ya gettin’ married? You got a serious relationship? Is she a nice girl?”
ad nasuem
At our wedding reception, about ten minutes after everyone had finally had a chance to sit and start eating, here comes grandma.
“So, when you two having kids? You pregnant yet? You want a boy or a girl?”
:rolleyes:
The song remains the same*, it just moves on to the next verse. You have our deepest sympathies.
*[sub]A few still had the nerve to start in with, “So when are ya gonna have another one?” when the Skeezling was about six months old.[/sub]
Love my Cody dearly. I’m not ready to get married yet (I’m only 20), but I certainly don’t see us breaking up in the forseeable future.
Now, my sister tells me things that my mom says about me. She’s sneaky. As am I - I don’t confront my mom with these thing, so she’ll keep telling my sister what she really thinks of me, then Liz can relay the message to me.
She’s never said this to my face, but has often told my sister that she’s “waiting for Cody and `Nell (my mom’s nickname for me) to break up.” Apparently, it’s hard for her to believe that I can be in a loving relationship with another human.
At least your folks have faith that you’ll find someone, eventually. My mom doesn’t.
You could use my sister’s technique: when she got tired of Mom asking her when she was going to settle down and have babies (Mom has pictures of all her friends’ kids and grandkids on the fridge), my sister gave her some photos of her cats, with the words “THESE are my babies! Go and post THEM on your fridge!” Mom hasn’t bothered her since.
I would just like to publicly acknowledge how wonderful my parents are, and that they never, ever pressured me to get married and have children.
This may or may not be due to the fact that the four oldest all had children out of wedlock at early ages. It may not. I don’t care - I didn’t get the pressure.
Oh I hate that! I just got married this past summer, I’m 26. I heard the “when are you going to get married” crap from ALL of my relatives from the time I was 17 alllll the way up until my wedding. It got tiring.
Honestly, though, I would much rather have the “when are you getting married” questions then the “when are you having kids” crap. Every. single. time. I talk to my mom I get her “I want grand baaaaabiiieessss” speech. I’m sick of it. Last time I was over there, she eyed me up and down, patted my stomach and asked if I was pregnant yet! Shit, I’ve only been married 6 months, let me enjoy it a while before I start shooting out kids! Hell, if she had her way, she’d be in the bedroom with us ensuring we were trying to reproduce… nothing I say stops the onslaught of “baby” interrogations. Its by far worse than the when are you getting married crap.
My parents never bugged me about getting married - now, my grandmother was a different story. She didn’t marry until she was 27, my oldest cousin didn’t marry until she was 27, yet I was labeled an old maid at 22. Go figure. I think my family worried because I didn’t date (and actually, I did date, I just never told them about my dates - I lived in NYC, and since I sometimes dated girls and guys, I figured there was no need to tell them). I’ve only had two serious relationships in my life, and one of them has resulted in our getting married. I could hear the collective sigh of my grandparents all the way from Florida when mr. avabeth proposed.
Just ignore your mom. Or tell her you’ve decided to hit the sperm bank. Either way, it’s more fun for you.
I’ve finally met the man of my dreams! His name is Hezekiah and he’s teaching me all about the Book of Mormon. I’ve signed over to him all my earthly possessions, have quit my job, and am to be married to him next Saturday at his church in a small town on the Utah/Nevada border. I’d love to tell you where it is, but Hezekiah says that if I’m to convert completely, I must sever all contact with non-believers. I was worried about this at first, but his three other wives assure me that the Lord takes more pride in a woman who churns butter than one who answers phones. So I guess this is Good-Bye.
Love, Obsidian
PS - My first child is due next Summer and I’ve been told he’ll be called Ezekiel. And I don’t miss electricity at all. Wish me Luck!
Don’t worry about this. It’ll wear off when you’re in your 40s.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Whenever I speak to my sister, the subject of my girlfriend comes up. My sister invariably asks “So, do I hear wedding bells?” No. No, sis, you don’t. That is what we call a hallucination.
At the age of 34, I think I’ve finally broken my parents of asking me when I’ll find a man and settle down.
I think.
I spawned, so there is another generation (my sis also has kids and one of them is having a baby). While LilMiss was not borne of the bonds of holy matrimony, it’s a grandchild, so hush up, Ma.
No, Ma, no more kids for me. Sorry. Luckily, being a lot like my mom, she understands that some people are not meant to have many kids. She did the best she could not being overly maternal, as am I (although I am much more maternal than she was- IMO). I just can’t do it again.
Yes, Ma, you can rue my not marrying D. Rue away. Please don’t forget that I prefer men that do not cheat nor break things when upset. I know, pickypicky. Yes, Ma, he was handy around the house. Fixing things he broke.
sigh
It’s now almost a joke. They gifted me with a snowblower and new lawnmower, as I don’t have a ‘man’ around to do outside work (yet my mom does the lawn more often than dad does). My ill, elderly dad comes over when I am at work to “putter”. I came home last week to find shelves up in LilMiss’s room and my dishes done. While I think they’re okay with my remaining single, they don’t believe I can run a house and raise a child alone. I’ve learned not to argue. I do little DIYs, and don’t tell them (else my dad would come over and “fix” my fix).
My primary response to ‘finding a man/settling down’ query is to simply nod my head and smile.
My family marries late. I’m five-six generations from the Revolutionary War. My father’s grandmother used to tell him stories of seeing her brother coming home from the civil war.
That said, it’s a heck of a kick in the head to realize that when you were born, your dad was the same age you are now.
Whenever I complained about being lonely, I’d get “you don’t have time for a relationship, you’re in law school!” to which I would promptly shut the hell up.
I just recently told them about the new guy I’m dating and was met with a very cautious “well, that’s nice honey. You’re on break now. YOU’D BETTER NOT LET THIS GET IN THE WAY OF SCHOOL!”
So I think I’m feeling the clock ticking a lot stronger than they are. Specially considering I just turned 26 today.
In my case, when I don’t date, then my mother is on my case about being a hermit. When I do date, and then have a steady girlfriend, my mother is on my case about “serial dating.”
I’m toying with the idea that the next time I’m in a significant relationship, I’ll hide it from my folks for a few months.
Wow. I’m so glad my mother is in the “whatever” camp. If I get married- fine. If I don’t- fine. There’s not much pressure.
The only thing I’ve heard from her recently about marriage was at Thanksgiving when she asked if my boyfriend of 3 years and I had any ideas about a date. We’re not even officially enaged yet! We’re just taking our time. I think she’s a bit iffy on the ‘living in sin’ thing though. But that’s all I’ve heard.
She’ll even be ok if she doesn’t get any grandchildren from me!
I think that’s the only part of my life she doesn’t pressure me about. The rest- dear lord! She has to know EVERYTHING! But that’s another rant.
My mother has serious issues. I’ve been with Mr. Congo for over 4 years. We’re engaged. We own a condo. We have bunnies. We’re very happy. We’re not getting married any time soon. I’m only 23 dammit. My best friend is younger than me, divorced and has a baby. My sister is 25, divorced, married again and has a baby. My other sister is 26, getting divorced and has a 5 year old. You’d think my mom has had her fill of sons-in-law and grandkids. NOOOOO, she wants Mr. Congo and she wants us to have kids. At my 25 year old sisters second wedding last May, my mother forced me to participate in the boquet toss. She actually pushed me into the path of the flowers. I had no choice but to catch them or be hit on the head by them. I think she bribed all the other women to not try to catch them. A couple months ago, she told me that she has come to realize I’m not getting married any time soon so she’ll stop bugging me. Then she asked when I was having kids! She doesn’t even care if I get married first. She just wants more grandkids.
What is wrong with parents?! I’ll get married when I’m damn good and ready. I want to be more financially stable before I even think of trying to have kids.
One time not long ago, Mom told me that if I wanted to have children, I’d better get busy finding a man now, as it ‘getting about that time’. My mom was 38 when my sister was born. My grandmother had her last child at 36. Great-grandma - 42. Mom has still not hit menopause (at 54), and with both her children she got pregnant without a single problem. (I was an accident. My sister was concieved the first month they tried). All I’m saying is, fertility runs in the family. So I have at least a decade before I need to worry about my biological clock.
I just. . .I don’t understand. She’s an independant woman who didn’t plan on ever having children, and when she did have them it was late. My little sister is still in high school-- why in hell are we talking about grandkids?
It’s kind off funny, I was having a conversation with the guy I like, and he was saying how some women his age (30) are starting to get weird, and are husband shopping. Like they just woke up and realized thier fertility’s declining and they better get cracking. I told him I thought my mother was convinced I was going to become one of those women, because while I’m absolutely certain I want a family some day, I have no interest in getting started any time soon. But now that I really think about it, I wonder if that really is what her problem is. Because she knows that I do really want kids, and she’s afraid that all the ‘good men’ will be gone by the time I get my ass in gear.
The funny thing is, I can’t remember the last time I met a man my age who I thought was even sort of responsible and serious enough to be someone’s husband. Guys tend to mature slower than women, and if I’m not ready at 24 how could I expect a guy to be. (Actually, I do know one guy, a friend of mine, but that’s only because the death of your only parent will grow you up real fast). But mom feels that all the descent guys are married by 28, which gives me about 3 1/2 years if I don’t date younger men. Tick Tock.
The other day, my mom said I should marry my boyfriend so I’d be covered by his health insurance. She said I could always get divorced later.
Ummm. I’m 22. I have no intention of being a divorcee at 23. I still wear glitter make up and carry a Hello Kitty wallet, for God’s sake. I fully intend to have hundreds of lovers in hundreds of exotic places. I don’t want to explain to them about that time I married that guy in Santa Cruz. Yeah, I love SvenBoyFriend and we’ve been together a long time, but I’m young as all heck and I’ve got so much living ahead of me it’s not even funny.
Not that I’m surprised. She’s been mumbling stuff like “I know that guy could be my son-in-law” since my first boyfriend at age sixteen. When I was fifteen she even gave me helpful advice like “If you get pregnant, you can always give me the kid to raise. I wouldn’t mind one bit.” I’m not quite sure how she reconciled wanting me to be a super-honors-student and a teen pregnancy statistic at the same.
I’ve told her quite often that I don’t think marriage is in the works for a loooooooong time. A while ago she told me “You know, if you wait too long to have kids, it gets a lot harder. Apparently a lot of women are regreting that they didn’t have kids earlier because now they can’t conceive”. I mumbled something about that decade of my life called “my thirties”, which is long, fertile, and a helluva a long time from now. I just didn’t have the heart to tell her that I don’t think grandbabies are going to happen.
