Monkey butler my ass..

I don’t want a MONKEY butler. I want a REAL man butler. Who will cleanmy room. It’s a mess. And I had like 100 beers. Maybe an elephant butler could take care of things.

You know. The first step is admitting you have a problem. I have a few problesm. But they’re all cured by alcohol.

L

Replying to yourself is so sad…;j

I was sitting here wondering what you needed a monkey butler to do to your ass.

What’s monkey butter?

Oh wait, you said butler. Never mind.

Hmmmm… Sexy Writer with a beer belly! :eek: Not a pretty picture.

Mmmmm…monkey butter. Yum! I’m so hungry, I can hardly stand it. There’s an Irish boy in my bed with my dog. Isn’t that sad?

L

No beer belly yet. It was actually vodka and grapefruit juice. Hard to type crocked. Xan you save me?

What was that monkey butler thing? I forget, but it was real;ly fuckinghilarious. I’m SO sorry. I HATE lookign like a bimbo. I genearlly dlon’t think of myself that way. But I certaionly fit that stereotype bnow.

Anyone have any jokes?

:L

I read it as, “Monkey, butter my ass!”

Is “Monkey” your pet name for that Irish boy?

No, no.His name isn’t monkey. It’s :arseface." I think the word “arse” is funny, don’t you? Plus, I mean really…I’m drunkn out of my mind…at my computer…and he’s in my bed with my dog. How interested in me could he truly be?

:

You have yet to fully explain the dog’s role in this arrangement…:eek:

Well…the dog is furry and black. And he’s the only sober one. So I’m sure you can figure out his role from that. Oh…and he’s un-neutered. Though, I haven’t seen him acting veryg “male” yet. Possibly because he’s well trained. But I doubt it.

Does anyone have any “hangover” advice? I’m going to feel shitty in the morning. I’m tired too. Help.

L

Seriously. Can someone sae me? I’m in bad shape. Plus, I feel like an idiot for gettingthis way? What’s the remedy?
L

Jokes eh…? Well since you’re a writer here’s something sophisticated…

and since you’re drunk here’s something stupid

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick .

I want a genetically engineered monkey butler that glows in the dark. Then I’ll dress him in an 18th-century powdered wig, velvet coat, waistcoat, breeches, stockings, shoes, etc. Then I will truly have attained godlike status.

Hmmm…why don’t youy make him wear a skirt and answer your phone?

What’s brown and sticky? Hahahahhahaha…seriously, that’s the funniest joke I’ve heraed in a long time. I can’t wait to tell it to my sister…
l

Nothing to contribute here, except to say I LOVE the thread title…

Thanks! I think anything with “my ass” in it is cool, dn’t you?

L

Brown and sticky, eh? Well… here’s an alternative word for what I’m thinking of: PRODUCTION!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Okay, so I’m letting the Richmond Crew[sup]TM[/sup] jokes take over my head now… never mind!

But what about a camel butler? That would be a perfect setup to recall two brothers I know: one with a thing for monkeys, and the other with a thing for camels. For what reason they have these things for those animals, I don’t know. But it is amusing!

Hey, what’s with the camelks? That’s disturbing. Seriously. Explain yourself.
mmmm…>I made myself eggs. Yum!
I love eggs.Anyone else hungry.

I have to go to bed now.

L