Monkey butler my ass..

I don’t want a MONKEY butler. I want a REAL man butler. Who will cleanmy room. It’s a mess. And I had like 100 beers. Maybe an elephant butler could take care of things.

You know. The first step is admitting you have a problem. I have a few problesm. But they’re all cured by alcohol.


Replying to yourself is so sad…;j

I was sitting here wondering what you needed a monkey butler to do to your ass.

What’s monkey butter?

Oh wait, you said butler. Never mind.

Hmmmm… Sexy Writer with a beer belly! :eek: Not a pretty picture.

Mmmmm…monkey butter. Yum! I’m so hungry, I can hardly stand it. There’s an Irish boy in my bed with my dog. Isn’t that sad?


No beer belly yet. It was actually vodka and grapefruit juice. Hard to type crocked. Xan you save me?

What was that monkey butler thing? I forget, but it was real;ly fuckinghilarious. I’m SO sorry. I HATE lookign like a bimbo. I genearlly dlon’t think of myself that way. But I certaionly fit that stereotype bnow.

Anyone have any jokes?


I read it as, “Monkey, butter my ass!”

Is “Monkey” your pet name for that Irish boy?

No, no.His name isn’t monkey. It’s :arseface." I think the word “arse” is funny, don’t you? Plus, I mean really…I’m drunkn out of my mind…at my computer…and he’s in my bed with my dog. How interested in me could he truly be?


You have yet to fully explain the dog’s role in this arrangement…:eek:

Well…the dog is furry and black. And he’s the only sober one. So I’m sure you can figure out his role from that. Oh…and he’s un-neutered. Though, I haven’t seen him acting veryg “male” yet. Possibly because he’s well trained. But I doubt it.

Does anyone have any “hangover” advice? I’m going to feel shitty in the morning. I’m tired too. Help.


Seriously. Can someone sae me? I’m in bad shape. Plus, I feel like an idiot for gettingthis way? What’s the remedy?

Jokes eh…? Well since you’re a writer here’s something sophisticated…

and since you’re drunk here’s something stupid

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick .

I want a genetically engineered monkey butler that glows in the dark. Then I’ll dress him in an 18th-century powdered wig, velvet coat, waistcoat, breeches, stockings, shoes, etc. Then I will truly have attained godlike status.

Hmmm…why don’t youy make him wear a skirt and answer your phone?

What’s brown and sticky? Hahahahhahaha…seriously, that’s the funniest joke I’ve heraed in a long time. I can’t wait to tell it to my sister…

Nothing to contribute here, except to say I LOVE the thread title…

Thanks! I think anything with “my ass” in it is cool, dn’t you?


Brown and sticky, eh? Well… here’s an alternative word for what I’m thinking of: PRODUCTION!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Okay, so I’m letting the Richmond Crew[sup]TM[/sup] jokes take over my head now… never mind!

But what about a camel butler? That would be a perfect setup to recall two brothers I know: one with a thing for monkeys, and the other with a thing for camels. For what reason they have these things for those animals, I don’t know. But it is amusing!

Hey, what’s with the camelks? That’s disturbing. Seriously. Explain yourself.
mmmm…>I made myself eggs. Yum!
I love eggs.Anyone else hungry.

I have to go to bed now.