And welcome to ‘Spot the Loony’, where once again we invite you to come with us all over the world to meet all kinds of people in all kinds of places, and ask you to . … Spot the Loony!
Your lupins, please.
Regards,
Shodan
I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome named Biggus… Dickus.
Thtwike him, Centuwion! Vewee woughly!
That man was a successful encyclopedia salesman. But not all encyclopedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopedia salesman.
What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the arse, to be blunt.
And because I’m so evil you’ll all die the slow way … under the drill.
On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place.
The story so far: Rosamund’s father has become ensnared by Mr Shabby’s extraordinary personal magnetism. Bob and Janet have eaten Mr Farquar’s goldfish during an Oxfam lunch, and Mrs Elsmore’s marriage is threatened by Doug’s insistence that he is on a different level of consciousness. Louise’s hernia has been confirmed, and Jim, Bob’s brother, has run over the editor of the ‘Lancet’ on his way to see Jenny, a freelance Pagoda designer. On the other side of the continent Napoleon still broods over the smouldering remains of a city he had crossed half the earth to conquer…
Yes. Successfully.
I think I’ll just go for a little walk.
I feel happy!
Ni!
Blackitt! Blackie! Look at him. He worked on that cake like no one else I’ve ever known. Some nights it was so cold, we could hardly move, but Blackie’d be out there slicing the lemons, mixing the sugar and the almonds. I mean, you try trying to get butter to melt at fifteen degrees below zero! There’s love in that cake.
Anything goes in.
Anything goes out!
Fish, bananas, old pyjamas,
Mutton! Beef! and Trout!
Anything goes in …
No, the whole premise is silly and it’s very badly written. I’m the senior officer here and I haven’t had a funny line yet. So I’m stopping it.
Foam at the mouth and fall over backwards. Is he foaming at the mouth to fall over backwards or falling over backwards to foam at the mouth? Tonight’s Spectrum examines the whole question of frothing and falling, coughing and calling, screaming and bawling, walling and stalling, brawling and mauling, falling and hauling, trawling and squalling, and zalling. Zalling. Is there a word zalling? If there is what does it mean? If there isn’t what does it mean? Perhaps both, maybe neither. What do I mean by the word “mean”? What do I mean by the word “word”? What do I mean by “what do I mean”? What do I mean by “do” and what do I do by “mean”? And what do I do by do by do and what do I mean by wasting your time like this? Good night.
Good evening. Tonight is indeed a unique occasion in the history of television. We are very privileged, and deeply honoured to have with us in the studio, Karl Marx, founder of modern socialism, and author of the ‘Communist Manifesto’. Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov, better known to the world as Lenin, leader of the Russian Revolution, writer, statesman, and father of modern communism. Che Guevara, the Cuban guerrilla leader. And Mao Tse-tung, leader of the Chinese Communist Party since 1949. And the first question is for you, Karl Marx. The Hammers - The Hammers is the nickname of what English football team? 'The Hammers? No? Well bad luck there, Karl. So we’ll go onto you Che. Che Guevara - Coventry City last won the FA Cup in what year? No? I’ll throw it open. Coventry City last won the FA Cup in what year? No? Well, I’m not surprised you didn’t get that. It was in fact a trick question. Coventry City have never won the FA Cup. So with the scores all equal now we go onto our second round, and Lenin it’s your starter for ten. Teddy Johnson and Pearl Carr won the Eurovision Song Contest in 1959. What was the name of the song? … Teddy Johnson and Pearl Carr’s song in the 1959 Eurovision Song Contest? Anybody?
Sing, Little Birdie?
Regards,
Mao
No. 1. The Larch.