Yes, I’ve got a hat.
What? Ridden on a horse? You’re using coconuts!
And could we have the next contender, please?..Ha ha ha… Good evening, madam, and your name is?
Yes, yes.
It’s Being-hit-on-the-head lessons in here.
Right. Now write it a hundred times before sunup, or I’ll cut your balls off.
Oh, oh oh I’m sorry, this is "abuse’. You want Room 12-A just along the corridor.
No parrots were involved in an accident on the M-1 today when a Lorry carrying High-octane fuel was in collison with a bollard. That’s a BOLLARD and NOT a PARROT. A spokesman for parrots said he was glad no parrots were involved. The Minister of Technology (photo of minister with parrot on his shoulder) today met the three Russian leaders (cut to photograph of 3 Russian men in a group and each with a parrot on his shoulder) to discuss a 4 million pound airliner deal…None of them went in the cage, or swung on the little wooden trapeze, or ate any of the nice millet seed. Yum, Yum.
You lucky bastard!
Dinsdale?
I’m taking this lot in in the name of Her Gracious Majesty Queen Elizabeth.
That’s right, yes, you go left at artificial limbs and hearing aids, right at dentures and it’s on your left just by glass eyes. It doesn’t say toupees to avoid embarrassing people, but you can SMELL’EM.
Thank you Onan! And now: a letter, a hotel registration book, and a series of photographs, which could add up to divorce, premature retirement, and possible criminal proceedings for a company director in Bromsgrove. He’s a freemason, and a conservative M.P., so Mr S. that’s 3,000 pounds please to stop us from revealing: Your name, the name of the three other people involved, the youth organization to which they belonged, and the shop where you bought the equipment.
Good evening
You may think it strange that we should be asking you to vote Norwegian at the next election but consider the advantages.
In Norway, we have one of the highest per cappa income rates in Europe; we have an industrial re-investment rate of 14%.
And girls with massive knockers! Honestly, they’ll do anything for you; they’ll go through the card - you name it, they know it!
Mr Larch, you heard the case for the prosecution. Is there anything you wish to say before I pass sentence?
Hostile!
But Kids were different in them days. They didn’t have their heads filled with all this Cartesian Dualism!
(singing)
If I were not in the CID
Something else I’d like to be
If I were not in the CID
A window cleaner, me!
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
And a rub-a-dub all day long
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
I’d sing this merry song!
Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how’s your father. Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper’s and caught his can in the Bertie.
The battle raged long and hard, but as night fell Sidney overcame the Spaniards. 6,000 copies of Tits and Bums and 4,000 copies of Shower Sheila were seized that day.
Oh mother don’t be so sentimental. Things explode everyday.