Bouncy, bouncy!
We find that 9 out of 10 British housewives can’t tell the difference between Whizzo Butter and a dead crab.
I’m not Sir Philip Bleedin’ Sidney! I am Superintendent Harold Gaskell and this is a raid.
It’s a bit runny, sir.
So by your account Harold Potter was a perfectly ordinary Englishman without any tendency towards being a Scotsman whatsoever?
This house is surrounded. I’m afraid I must not ask anyone to leave the room. No, I must ask nobody … no, I must ask everybody to… I must not ask anyone to leave the room. No one must be asked by me to leave the room. No, no one must ask the room to leave. I … I … ask the room shall by someone be left. Not. Ask nobody the room somebody leave shall I. Shall I leave the room? Everyone must leave the room… as it is… with them in it. Phew. Understand?
Ooo, I like it runny!
Yeah, remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, beautiful plumage, innit?
I’d like to ask the panel what changes they would make, if they were Hitler.
I think it’s runnier than you like it, sir.
Now that’s just rude.
Well Brian… I’m opening a boutique.
Well I think television’s killed real entertainment. In the old days we used to make our own fun. At Christmas parties I used to strike myself on the head repeatedly with blunt instruments while crooning. (sings) ‘Only make believe, I love you, (hits himself on head with bricks) Only make believe that you love me, (hits himself) Others find peace of mind…’
Strange women lying in ponds, distributing swords, is no basis for a system of government!
Brian: I’m not the Messiah!
Arthur: I say you are, Lord, and I should know, I’ve followed a few!
Look at arson. I mean, who can honestly say that they have never wanted to set fire to a great public building?
I know I have.
Well, er, yes, Mr. Anchovy, but you see your report here says that you are an extremely dull person. You see, our experts describe you as an appallingly dull fellow, unimaginative, timid, lacking in initiative, spineless, easily dominated, no sense of humor, tedious company and irrepressibly drab and awful. And whereas in most professions these would be considerable drawbacks, in chartered accountancy they are a positive boon.
Well, er, I think, David, this is something which Ron and myself are really keen on. Ron is going to tunnel from Godalming here to Java here
Bring me a shrubbery!
Well, you can’t get much more interesting than that, or can you?