Number 1: The Larch. The Larch.
So from now on we’re going to do things my way. For a start, David Hockney is going to design the bombs. And I’ve seen the plans!
Shut up! This a hold-up, not a botany lesson.
Well that’s sorted out then. What a mess, isn’t it.
We’ll special it for you, we’ll get it down there today and you’ll get it back in ten weeks.
What’s new Bruce going to teach, Bruce?
The story so far: Rosamund’s father has become ensnared by Mr Shabby’s extraordinary personal magnetism. Bob and Janet have eaten Mr Farquar’s goldfish during an Oxfam lunch, and Mrs Elsmore’s marriage is threatened by Doug’s insistence that he is on a different level of consciousness. Louise’s hernia has been confirmed, and Jim, Bob’s brother, has run over the editor of the ‘Lancet’ on his way to see Jenny, a freelance Pagoda designer. On the other side of the continent Napoleon still broods over the smouldering remains of a city he had crossed half the earth to conquer…
Is your name not Bruce?
Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I’m being repressed!
We love the Yangtse, Yangtse-Kiang,
Flowing from Yushu down to Ching-Kiang,
Passing through Chung King, Wuhan and Hoo-Kow
Three thousand miles, but it gets there somehow.
Oh! Szechuan’s the province and Shanghai is the port,
And the Yangtse is the river that we all support.
Are you *selling *something?
No. But what we can do, and this is between you and me, I shouldn’t really be telling you this, we’ll turn your gas on, make a hole in your pipe, you ring Hounslow emergency, they’ll be around here in a couple of days.
It’s a man’s life taking your clothes off in public.
When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in 1517, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas. And Protestantism doesn’t stop at the simple condom. Oh, no! I can wear French Ticklers if I want.
But the police have film of Dinsdale actually nailing your head to the floor.
I’m a Yid! I’m a Heebie! I’m a hook-nose! I’m a Red Sea pedestrian, and I’m proud of it!
Er, please excuse my wife. She may appear to be rather nasty but underneath she has a heart of formica.
He robs from the poor
And gives to the rich
Stupid bitch
You can relax and enjoy this quality product, secure in the knowledge that it has been specially created for the lover of fine things and man of good taste. fart Oh, sorry, you can edit that out, can’t you?
Yeah, no problem.
There’s lots of people making love, but no mention of Geoff Boyott’s average.