That’s what live theatre needs - a few more massacres…
Well, here we try to help people who have to link sketches together. We try to stop them saying ‘Have you ever wondered what it would be like if’ and instead say something like um… er… ‘And now the mountaineering sketch’.
No. There is no such thing as a urine bank.
Yes. Yes it is. Goodnight. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Oh, Mr. Belpit, your legs are so swollen.
If there were fewer robbers there wouldn’t be so many of them, numerically speaking.
Mrs Lieutenant Edale here. Mrs Midshipman Nesbitt’s got one of her headaches again, so I put her in the torpedo tube.
Oh Bevis, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?
Don’t you oppress me.
Come see the violence inherent in the system!
It’s a fair cop.
You shot him! You shot him dead!
Mind the machine!
I wish you’d all stop bickering and eat me.
All right. We’ll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.
Not much fun in Stalingrad, no.
But it’s my only line!
He’s going to tell! He’s going to tell!
My name is Smoke-too-much.
Well you’d better cut down a little then