(solo)
When I smile
The sun comes flooding in
But when I’m sad
It goes behind the clouds again.
Don’t give me any trouble. Just pile up these baskets of filth and come with me.
Erik Njorl, son of Frothgar, leaves his home to seek Hangar the Elder at the home of Thorvald Nlodvisson, the son of Gudleif, half brother of Thorgier, the priest of Ljosa water, who took to wife Thurunn, the mother of Thorkel Braggart, the slayer of Cudround the powerful, who knew Howal, son of Geernon, son of Erik from Valdalesc, son of Arval Gristlebeard, son of Harken, who killed Bjortguaard in Sochnadale in Norway over Cudreed, daughter of Thorkel Long, the son of Kettle-Trout, the half son of Harviyoun Half-troll, father of Ingbare the Brave, who with Isenbert of Gottenberg the daughter of Hangbard the Fierce …
And don’t forget the Hercules Hold-'em-In, the all-purpose concrete truss for the man with the family hernia.
He buggered off.
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: That’s a rather personal question, sir.
Not so fast, Akarumba! Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Inspector Baboon of Scotland Yard’s Special Fraud Film Director Squad, Jungle Division.
Good morning, I am a bank robber. Er, please don’t panic, just hand over all your money.
Better get a bucket.
And now the Stock Market Report by Exchange Telegraph.
Our Hero: Any news of Betty Bailey’s expedition, Hargreaves?
Hargreaves: Er … um … er…
Our Hero: (through clenched teeth) Page 9…
Hargreaves: (thumbing over page of script beneath counter) ‘The Lost World of Roiurama’.
Our Hero: That’s my line.
Hargreaves: Oh, sorry. ‘Where were they going, sir’?
Our Hero: The Lost World of Roiurama.
Hargreaves: Yes sir, we’ve got a telegram.
Our Hero: OH
Hargreaves: (reads it) Reads it. Expedition superb. Weather excellent. Everything wonderful.
Our Hero: I wonder what’s gone wrong.
Hargreaves: For God’s sake be careful…
Our Hero: (irritably) Wait a minute… I’m going to go… after them.
Hargreaves: For God’s sake be careful, sir.
Oh coitus.
So he did! He scarpered!
Always look on the bright side of life.
I could be arguing in my spare time.
The cat’s eaten it.
Look out, there are llamas!
Starting only with a theory, Mr Norris set out to prove that the inhabitants of Hounslow could have been descendants of the people of Surbiton who had made the great trek north.
Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Look! There’s the old man from Scene 24.