You English all are buggerfolk!
Your mothers all are ruggerfolk!
Your army is a bloody joke!
You couldn’t beat an artichoke!
If battle you choose to renew,
We’ll taunt you 'til you all turn blue!
We turn our asses as you part!
In your direction we all faaar… Too!
On second thought, let’s not go there. It is a silly place.
It’s a joke name, sir.
I’m a completely self-taught idiot. I mean, ooh arh, nob arhh, nob arhh … nobody does that anymore. Anybody who did that round here would be laughed off the street. No, nowadays people want something wittier.
Wink, wink
From the makers of ‘‘Gunfight at the OK Corral in Morse Code.’’
Beware the Ides of March!
We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
Oh, shut up, elephant snout. And now the green Chesterfield has taken guard and Iceland are putting on their spin dryer to bowl.
Shut up! Shut up, you American. You always talk, you Americans, you talk and you talk and say ‘Let me tell you something’ and ‘I just wanna say this.’ Well, you’re dead now, so shut up!
And the first question is for you, Karl Marx: The Hammers. The Hammers is the nickname of what English football team?
I hate penguins.
Howls of derisive laughter, Bruce!
And of course there’ll be sport. But now for something completely different - sport.
Those of you who missed 8:45 on Friday will be able to see it again this Friday at a quarter to nine.
He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay.
I’m Brian, and so is my wife.
It was an inspired guess.
No, it’s Michael.
I want to go home! (sobs)