Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 2)

An island inhabited entirely by ex-international interviewers in pursuit of the impossible dream.

It’s….

I will not buy this record, it is scratched.

The record’s stuck- the record’s stuck- the record’s stuck- the record’s stuck-

The… Larch.

My hovercraft is full of eels.

Pull the other one!

Nurse! Would you take Mrs Pim to see Dr Cream, please.

Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there.

You’re a brave man. Karl Marx, your final question, who won the Cup Final in 1949?

Stupid git.

Dear Sir,

I wish to complain about the sketch of people falling out of high buildings. I have worked all my life in such a building and have never once --AAAGH!

Kiss me, Hardy!

Well, I’m certainly not thinking of getting hitched up again.

Well last week on Fish Club we learnt how to sex a pike … and this week we’re going to learn how to feed a goldfish

Welcome to “Conjuring Today.” Last week we learned how to saw a woman in half. Today, we’ll learn how to saw her into three pieces and dispose of the body.

Are there any women here today?

That’s just what Jesus said!

Hello, I noticed a slight look of anxiety cross your face for a moment just then, but you needn’t worry - I’m used to it. That’s the trouble of having a surname like Git.

Ooo, it makes me mad!