You’re rather a smart young lad aren’t you. We could do with somebody like you to feed the pantomime horse. Very smart.
But you are so strong and, well, just so super.
Blancmange serves… a real sizzling ace.
Mrs. S.C.U.M. I am the most powerful man in the universe. There is nothing I cannot do.
[Giant foot comes down and crushes people]
Pang! Right in the toast. A brief struggle and all is over. Poor breakfast! Another victim of the… aargh!
well, I’ll have a slice without so much rat in it.
Well, we’re sorry you feel like that but we, er, did want a block of flats. Nice though the abattoir is
Now, you may think that this is very harsh behaviour, but let me tell you that our management consultants actually queried the necessity for us to employ a pantomime horse at all.
Look, er, I’m sorry about this, but there seem to be a few gremlins about… I think I’d better start from the beginning. Er, good evening, we in the Wood Party feel very strongly about, oh … (he drops script) Bloody heck. Oh, oh dear, er terribly sorry about this, about saying bloody heck on all channels, but, er… look, I don’t want you to think of the Wood Party as a load of old men that like hanging around on ropes.
Democracy and humanitarianism have always been trademarks of the British Army.
Oh, I’ve had enough of this. I’m handing in my notice.
It’s…
Not so warm today, George.
No.1: the larch
We interrupt this programme to annoy you and make things generally irritating for you.
I want to apologize, humbly, deeply, and sincerely about the fork.
He’s that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep.
About one; call it none.
Good evening, we interrupt this programme again, a) to irritate you and, b) to provide work for one of our announcers.