Shut up!
It’s all gotten rather silly, really.
Do you want to go upstairs?
And Oliver has run himself over!
Bloody repeats!
To do justice to this man, thought by many to be the greatest name in German Baroque music, we present a profile of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden -schlitter -crasscrenbon -fried -digger -dangle -dungle -burstein -von -knacker - thrasher -apple -banger -horowitz -ticolensic -grander -knotty -spelltinkle -grandlich -grumblemeyer -spelterwasser - kurstlich -himbleeisen -bahnwagen -gutenabend -bitte -ein -nürnburger -bratwustle -gerspurten -mit -zweimache - auuber -hundsfut -gumberaber -shönendanker-kalbsfleisch -mittler -aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm. We start with an interview with his only surviving relative Karl Gambolputty de von Ausfern…
Right – all we need is new titles. And they must be damned new!
I’m not.
I thought he’d never ask.
He has given us food!
She turned me into a newt!
Ugh! Frightful words!
“First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”
You are all individuals!
I don’t much like the tone of your voice.
Don’t want antelope nibbling the hoops.
Now all they have to do here to win the title is to shoot themselves. Simon has a shot. Bad luck, he misses. Nigel misses. Now there’s Gervaise, and Gervaise has shot himself - Gervaise is Upperclass Twit of the Year. There’s Nigel, he’s shot Simon by mistake, Simon is back up and there’s Nigel, Nigel’s shot himself: Nigel is third in this fine and most exciting Upperclass Twit of the Year Show I’ve ever seen. Nigel’s clubbed himself into fourth place.
Oh, moto-cross!
Biggles! Fetch…THE CUSHIONS!
Forgive us, O Lord, for this dreadful toadying and barefaced flattery.