Is this wretched demi-bee,
Half-asleep upon my knee,
Some freak from a menagerie?
No! It’s Eric the half a bee!
But how to prove it.
It’s…
[Organ music]
Thank you, Onan!
It was Tidwell’s idea, sir.
Dear Sir,
I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about the song which you have just broadcast about the lumberjack who wears women’s clothes. Many of my best friends are lumberjacks and only a few of them are transvestites.
Yours faithfully, Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong (Mrs.)
You haven’t guessed Limburger, sir.
No, no really, we’re just not religious thank you.
Is it worth it?
It’s perfectly easy for somebody just to come along here to the BBC simply claiming that they have a bit to spare in the botty department, but the point is Mr. Frampton, our viewers need proof.
And so the final result: The Upperclass Twit of the Year - Gervaise Brook-Hampster of Kensington and Weybridge; runner up - Vivian Smith-Smythe-Smith of Kensington; and third - Nigel Incubator-Jones of Henley. Well there’ll certainly be some car door slamming in the streets of Kensington tonight.
You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives. It is up to people like you and me who are out of our tiny little minds to try and help these people overcome their sanity.
Well, if you can imagine the size of Nelson’s Column, which is roughly three times the size of a London bus, then Tchaikovsky was much smaller. His head was about the same size as that of an extremely large dog, that is to say, two very small dogs, or four very large hamsters, or one medium-size rabbit if you count the whole of the body and not just the head.
It’s all gotten rather silly really.
A duck!
I’m not a roman mum, I’m a kike, a yid, a heebie, a hook-nose, I’m kosher mum, I’m a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud of it!
I don’t like darkies.
I am here. No traitor to the King.
German Radio Voice:
[English translation of the fatal joke] There were zwei peanuts walking down the strasse, und one was assaulted - peanut.