Morally Bankrupt Television

In My Humble Opinion
1

So, there’s a lot of bad TV. I don’t think anyone will argue with that point. However, I submit that there’s some TV that goes beyond bad, and embraces some pretty awful values. For intance, I just caught a Montel commercial for a show about kids with physical disabilities/deformities. He claims to be uplifting 'em, but it smacks of freak show to me. Additionally:

*Real TV: I object to any show (just on principle) that shows the suffering of others without a real good purpose. Plus, it’s just a crappy show.

  • Anything WWF: Now, I love the WWF. I think it’s viciously stupid and low-class (and that’s why I watch it), but it always ticks me off that violence, especially outside-the-ring, is portrayed as solving whatever problems the wrasslers have (well, except for too few steroids/too much silicone).

*Cops: This is the old chestnut of offensive TV- Bill Hicks beat me to this rant by at least 10 years. But, damn, talk about schadenfreud (that can’t possibly be the correct spelling. I just know it.).

*MTV’s Undressed: Another show I love to watch, precisely because it’s so Gawd-awful. This is, without a doubt, the worst show on TV. Not only is it soft-core porn for 12-year olds and portrays all young people as sex-obsessed morons (not that I’m claiming they aren’t, mind you), but suggests that all love consists of sex and the possibility of more sex. But, it does get points for showing gay guys without stereotypes, and (I guess) promoting safe sex. But, man, y’all gotta watch this show, just to see for yourselves what the next generation is being taught about appropriate sexual norms. That, and it contained possibly the funniest dialogue I’ve ever seen:

[hot girl leans to kiss dorky guy, as he fails to respond]
Girl: “Are you gay?”

Guy: “Uhh… no!”

Girl: “Then why aren’t you kissing me?”

Man, somebody needs an Emmy for that opus. Uplifts the human spirit, yes it does.

M.

2

Ahem.

Jess (who’s been waiting forever for someone to bring this up again so she could show off by bumping her thread back to the top.)

3

Oh my God, this show is so vile. I watched a damned marathon of it the other night. I couldn’t turn away-the situations were so inane, the characters were so one-dimensional, the acting was so bad, the breasts were so huge, the two lesbians I saw were sex-obsessed and did nothing but do each other with dildos and play insane mind games! I was almsot offended by it, but there was something so addicting about. And the part about the show is MTV knows it sucks–it never, ever advertises it in the least. You’ll never know when new episodes are coming on because even MTV is embarrassed by it.

4

REASONS WHY MTV’S UNDRESSED SUCKS:

  1. The actors (which consist mostly of 14-18 year olds) write the stories.

  2. You never get to see the end of the stories. The same three or four cliched scenes go for about five episodes and then BOOM!! Completely different cast, completely different stories.

  3. For whatever reason, everyone is always tricking/bargaining/daring/manipulating for sex. I’m 18 years old, and I don’t have the time to come up with clever ways to con members of the opposite sex for some booty. Does anyone?

  4. Where are there parents? Even the 90210 gang had parents.

  5. Lack of porn music. I think some “bomp-chica-bow-wows” would really benefit the validity of the already contrived sex scenes. I mean, come on, MTV, who are you fooling? You know you wanted a soft core program. Make us BELIEVE in it.

Even still, I watch it whenever it’s on. Did you ever see the one where this girl was anxiously anticipating her boyfriend’s return from Nepal, and upon his arrival, she discovered he had morphed from a clean-shaven, Ivy Leaguer into a tree loving, Non-Bather?

“I Love Lucy,” eat your heart out.