See German haikus
noses pressed against the glass
Some translations, please?
My version of it
Seems to fit the meter right
I am a smart-ass
Fetenhöhepunkt
War der gruppenfick danach
Jetzt dusche ich mal
(and in English, um, sorta)
Best part of party
Was the group sex afterwards
Now I must shower
Jarbaby
Meretrix? Numquam!
Bellus orca-parvulus
Hau! dormi mecum
[sub]red faced j/k[/sub] :o
lno, I’m sure your German is better than mine, did I make an error? One must admit, ‘gruppenfick’ is a bit more colorful than ‘group sex’.
Nah, you just had a 6-7-6 meter by my count; I trimmed it to a 5-7-5. And the English translation was constrained out of necessity. 
I don’t spikk German
Boot I ken fek ze ak’zent
Vill it be enough?
Not kvite like Ahhnuld
Kloszer to Colnel Klink, ja?
You like it, Fraulein?
I’m giffink myzelf
A hedd-ache doing ziss now
Zo I vill ztop it. SCHULLLLLLLLLLLTZ!!!
Oh Fiver, are you
Mad? It seems you adore
We three odd ladies.
Manservant, Molto
Bene, your Italian speaking
has me very caldo.
Most of my German
Is learned from science journals
‘Gangbangs’ a rare theme
I know just enough
To get face-slapped or drink-splashed
In several tongues
I like a girl
she only wants to be friends
yet I want to not
I still do like her
She told me she liked me
three years too late
Freshmen year is when…(she liked me that is)
she never did let me know
until the night past
I was so upset
i cried for a few minutes…(several actually)
and now I am mad
she says she will not
go out with a friend she wants…(not sure if this will
but it is not me…(make any sense)
her logic is bad
it confuses me badly
want to talk to her
she brings out good
but also the worst in me
I need much advice*
my haikus are done
until I write in journals
then I will write more
three pages today
in journals I have written
and a few haikus
long winded I am
will let you do other stuff
my poems are done
- if you want to give me advice, you can email me at abcdefg200atexcite@yahoo.com or on AIM I am CColeman2002
Manservant Hecubus’s Italian got me so hot I couldn’t count.
GingerOfTheNorth
Your name fills the whole first line
And also my heart.
Rosebud, New York belle
Likes hobbits, ferrets and…me?
Fiver dreams, then swoons.
Jarbaby needs pain
Of a keen but loving kind
Shame I’m not so Chi’.
Single Gypsy_gurl
left for a bisexual
by a perfect guy
made me soup when ill
he promised not to hurt me
viscious lies he told
But I’m thinking that
He got the short end of it
She already cheats!
She hit on his twin
Brother and his mom’s boyfriend
Too…What a slut
It’s lonely without…
So are there any Dopers
Who can flirt with me?
I’m going clubbing
I won’t be on tonight so
I can meet some guys
Your Haiku tears
at the strings upon my heart
soon you will be free
Thread soars high floating
above the clouds, the sun
shines upon these posts.
And for the carnal,
flesh, teasingly revealed
then hidden, oh shame.
Tales of broken love
Sorry I’m not there to help
You’re in the right place.
Common though it seems
in trashy romance novels
broken hearts don’t kill.
Don’t let ex-lovers
burn away your inner peace
find that peace and share.
On-line, IRL,
or any way that you can,
there will be more friends.
Final words this time
something to ponder today:
Vaya con juevos.
My skin does not fit
My nose drags along the floor
elephant I am.
It is strange sitting
In an office board as I am
thoughts come unbidden.
Thoughts which strike my skull
reverberate, bouncing, then
Haiku they are.
I am sitting here
Watching the clock and surfing
the SDMB.
Touching, amusing
By turns, the posters on
This thread just kill me.
To all those who have
Been hurt, persevere. Your
good times have yet to come.
===
Bored at work. The hands
of the clock, mired in the soup
Of time standing still.
Will this day never
End? I just wanna go home.
Five can’t come too soon.
The weekend beckons.
With promises of fun and
Girls with big boobies. 
These haikus are sad
Time to write more cheerful stuff
Hop to it, people!
Well, there goes lunchtime
And I have to work again
Back to the salt mine!
Italian’s fine, but
German sounds like clearing throats.
It’s just NOT sexy.
How about some French?
(I knew that class in high school
would come in handy.)
Les femmes du Straight Dope:
Je suis excité par eux
Je les veux moi-même.
Je dirais à eux,
"Mon aéroglisseur est plein…
Plein de quoi? Anguilles.
Chef Must Be Joking
German Makes My Fluids Flow
French Is For Wussies
But if he left you
How perfect could he have been?
Hey, I’m just askin’.