A Rabbi and his friend, a Catholic priest, were having a discussion
when the rabbi asked “Could you ever be promoted within your church?”
The priest responded, “Well, one day, I hope to become a bishop.”
The rabbi asked, “And then?”
The priest though for a second and responded, “Well, then I might become a cardinal.”
The rabbi again asked, “And then?”
The priest again pondered the question before responding “Then I would become Pope!”
The rabbi, still unsatisfied, asked “And then?”
The priest, exasperated, cried “What else could I become? God Himself!?”
The rabbi quietly responded “One of our boys made it.”
A Catholic priest announces at church one day, “I will be in Rome next week. If any of you have a wish, I will light a candle in Rome so that the wish will come true.”
A woman announces, “My husband and I have been married for several years, but have never borne any children. Can you light a candle so that we can have children?”
“I will do that,” says the priest.
Five years later, the woman says to the priest, “Since you went to Rome and lit that candle, I have given birth to two pairs of twins and a set of triplets, and now I am pregnant with quadruplets!” She then gives the priest a plane ticket to Rome.
“You are too kind,” says the priest. “You don’t need to thank me.”
“I’m not thanking you,” says the woman. “I just want you to blow out that candle.”
Teacher: When George Washington was a child, we hear how honest he was, admitting he cut down the cherry tree. His father immediately forgave him. Do you know why?
Student: Yes, because Washington was still holding the axe.
People used to think George Washington was antisocial.
But he just wasn’t a party person.
George Washington had enacted a strict army policy about cherry trees:
Don’t axe, don’t tell.
