More Jokes

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
4132

And because this is a joke thread (that is, a thread for us to share jokes in):

I saw my neighbor in the parking lot at Wal*Mart the other day. He was loading a huge box into his car.

“Whatcha got there, Stu?” I asked him (I call him “Stu,” even though he told me his name is Stuart. He also told me he doesn’t like being called Stuart, so I call him Stu. I tried calling him “Stewart” for a while, but he didn’t like that either. So “Stu” it is. But I digress).

“Oh, I just bought this ten-foot artificial tree in the Wal*Mart.” he answered.

“Huh.” I grunted. “That’s a pretty big tree. Are you going to put it up yourself?”

“No, I was thinking the living room.”

4133

One my ex came up with … this one’s for the pet owners out there.

Does your dog/cat like to follow you into the bathroom and stare at you while you’re sitting there, like they’re supervising your pooping process?

… that makes them your poopervisor.

4134

Well, it turns out I have pneumonia (no joke), so I won’t be around for the next few days.
Keep on postin’ the jokes!

4135

I don’t get it

(Seriously, feel better soon!)

4136

Feel better, Prof!

mmm

4137

I had walking pneumonia when I was 12. Ever since then, I can’t read or hear the word ‘pneumonia’ without thinking :notes: Walking Pneumonia, Walking Pneumonia! You’ll come a-walking, Pneumonia, with me… :notes:

4138

Whats the sickest piece of art?

Pneumonia Lisa.

4139

Why can’t you hear a pneumonia patient urinating?

Because the ‘P’ is silent!

4140

In Australia, the town of Parkes has a giant radio telescope (and not much else). The local football team are known as the Spacemen, and the junior teams as the Space Cadets.

4141

Get well soon, @Prof.Pepperwinkle!

4142

Well that sure warns me off from making that Necrotizing Fasciitis joke.

Hope you recover from the neumonia quickly, Rof.Epperwinkle!

4143

Yeah, get well soon, Prof.P!

My favorite part of the movie ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ is when George Bailey and his new bride Mary, happy as can be, move into the Old Granville House and make it a home. Pretty soon the pitter-patter of little feet can be heard…

…damn old place was crawling with rats.

4144

The jokes on me! I don’t have pneumonia!

I have COVID.

But I’m getting better.

Thanks for all your wishes.

4145

You could have both . . .

But the important part is that you’re getting better. No joke, I’m glad to see that.

4146

In honor of the Prof.:

My sex life is like COVID-19.

I don’t have COVID-19.

4147

The World Health Organization has determined that canines cannot contract COVID and can be released from isolation.

In other words, WHO let the dogs out.

mmm

4148

Please don’t start singing “I feel happy, I feel happy!”
Holy Grail

4149

https://i.imgur.com/ link broken TsepLuO.jpg

4150

Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m Dad.
Wife: No you’re not.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Doctor: So it looks like you’re pregnant.
Patient: OMG! I’m pregnant?
Doctor: No. it just looks like you’re pregnant.

4151

Moderating:

Please avoid racist jokes.