Who is the lonelinest Reindeer on their birthday?
I know you’re thinking it’s probably Rudolph, but, let’s just say no one wants to go to Donner party.
Back in my day, you would cough to cover up a fart.
Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.
Do you know why there’s religious holidays but no scientific holidays?
Because science always works.
Santa Claus gets captured and interrogated by the KGB
“You are a very suspicious man. Who did you say you are?”
“I’m Father Christmas.”
“Then who is this Santa?”
“Oh that’s also me, I have many names, ho ho ho!”
“So you are a spy then? And what kind of jet is that? It is not detectable by our radars.”
“You mean the sleigh? It is actually quite magical you see…”
“Enough of this nonsense!”
“Oh my, what’s with that language? It sets a bad example to little Tanya and Ivan.”
“How do you know the names of my children? What are you even doing here?”
“Well, I give presents to all the children of the world!”
“What do you want in return?”
“Nothing.”
The Russians pause for a second.
“So you’re a communist?”
“Da, comrade.”
“Dmitri, two vodkas, one milk and a cookie for our comrade!”
I once had a goldfish that could breakdance on a carpet,
but only for like 20 seconds…
