When life gives you lemons…
Squeeze them into the eyes of your enemies.
Another glaring example, as was much discussed in the ’ Goon, you’re free!’ thread, of the importance of proper kerning.
Breaking news:
Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. has just been awarded the FIFA Prize in Medicine.
Our family won’t be playing charades this Christmas after Grandma made us guess Basic Instinct last year.
In honor of my late friend Stewart, the last joke he sent before he died:
A guy decides to get married.
— Well, Dad, I’ve decided! I’m gonna get married.
— Who’re you gonna marry, son?
— Lisa, Mike’s daughter.
— Oh, don’t marry her, son, you know… Ah, fine! I’ll admit it — I sinned in my youth — long story short, she’s your sister.
— Well then, maybe I’ll marry Emily, the neighbor girl…
— No, son, I messed up back in the day… she’s your sister too.
— Then how about Mandy from the next block…
— Don’t take her either. Same story — she’s also your sister.
At this point Mom can’t take it anymore and yells from the kitchen:
— Don’t listen to that idiot! Marry whoever you want — he’s not your father anyway!
An instructive tale, as also rendered here:
I like this version better:
That’s the one I thought of too!
Why wouldn’t the barmaid serve Shakespeare?
He was Bard!
If he was banned from the bar, wouldn’t he be dis-Bard? 
After they let him back in, he was re-Bard.
He couldn’t buy his cosmetics at home either, he was Bard of Avon.
Can we please stop with all the bad Shakespeare puns?
Y’all are really going overbard.
mmm
As you like it.
There has been a tempest of Shakespeare quotations.
You’re making much ado about nothing.
Is that forbidden on your planet?
I was going to make a joke about sonnets.
But that would be going from bard to verse.
OK, I iambic time sick and tired of these Shakespeare puns!
I too am Lear-y of them.