I have had cararact surgery before. It’s just that over the years a film has formed on my lenses. They’ll laser them off, and I will be fine.
Poor Prof. Pepperwinkle can’t eat fish! It’s seafood.
Oh, look at the time; gotta run…
Heck, they’ll just dialate them, then PEW, PEW, PEW and the membrane is toast. You get some floaters for a few weeks but you should be seeing fine the next day. Of course if this is a vacation, take the time off. 
When our fish tank starts to develop a film, we go to the pet store and pick up a couple of snails. Have you tried that?
Prof. P could try rubbing ketchup in his eyes. I’ve heard that Heinz sight is 20/20.
Keeping within the vision theme:
A guy shows a photo of his wife to the guy sitting on the next bar stool. “Isn’t she stunning?”
Second guy says, “If you think she’s stunning, you should see my wife.”
“Why, she’s beautiful, too?”
“No, she’s an optometrist.”
A gang of crooks decide to pull off a bank robbery by breaking into the building in the middle of the night. So they scout out a bank, scope out the floor plans and security systems and employee schedules, and whatnot. Everything you could possibly think of to prepare for a bank heist. Takes them weeks of painstaking work and meticulous attention to the smallest details to get it all figured out.
The big night comes. They climb up on top of the building and drill a person-size hole through the roof and drop down. There are three vaults. They’re able to open the first one, but lo and behold, there’s no money. Just a gallon jar of olives sitting on a pedestal. The robbers look around at one another, confused, shrugging and going WTF? Finally, they decide to take the jar because, after all, they don’t want to go home empty handed.
Then they break into the second vault. Same thing. Third vault, same thing again.
They take the jars home to the leader’s apartment and sit around eating the olives and drinking Jack Daniels, because what else are they going to do?
The next morning, they wake up, bring the newspaper in, and see a big headline on page 1: “Eye Bank Robbed.”
The other day I said to my wife, “You know honey, when I look in the mirror, I just see a tired, defeated old man with thinning hair, bad teeth, flabby muscles and a fat belly. Can you tell me something to make me feel better about myself?”
She replied “Well your eyesight is damn near perfect.”
A guy is seeing his doctor for a routine checkup.
“Doc, I’m worried about my vision. I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.”
“Have you seen an ophthalmologist yet?”
“No, so far it’s just been the spots.”
That’s the problem!
He’s probably heard about it, though.
mmm
Two police officers ring the bell at a suburban house. A woman answers.
They ask, “Ma’am, is your husband John Ferguson?”
“Yes, he is.”
(Officers remove hats.) “We’re sorry. Looks like he was hit by a bus.”
“Yes, I know, but he’s always been a good provider.”
The psychologist was asked why he used lawyers in his experiments. He replied, “Because there are some things even rats won’t do.”