More Random Thoughts

Not more randomization of thought, but more thoughts which are random in nature. Or in captivity. Either way, so far as I know, they’re original to that dark space I call my mind.

When defusing a bomb in any movie, the hero always cuts the red wire. This makes me wonder why a bomb builder would bother to follow proper building codes.

What is the difference between a MacBook and a Big Mac? One is indigestible, the other is a computer.

BomTek recently rejoined the board. This immediately made me think of the Bomb Squad t-shirt that says “If you see me running, try to keep up”. I would further add “If you see me flying, call an ambulance. If you suddenly don’t see me, call the morgue.”

That was no stuntman climbing the Trump building the other day. That was Spiderman coming to re-web The Donald’s hair.

By the way, what happens to all the webs Spidey shoots all over the city? Who has to clean all that sticky crap up?

I went into an athletic shoe store every day for 3 months to talk to the staff. Never bought anything, never looks at any shoes. When one of the clerks finally asked why, I simply pointed to the big sign that said “Converse”.

At what age does “and-a-half” lose any meaning? When you reach double digits? 20’s? One never hears anyone say “I’m 98 and a half”, so I’m pretty sure it happens before then.

These are (some of) the things that go through my mind, staying only long enough to die of loneliness. How 'bout you?

In the original comic, the webs evaporate after an hour.


You’re reminding me of a comic where one of the characters was trying to defuse a bomb where the wires were all different shades of red. He’s getting instructions by phone along the lines of - Don’t cut the burgundy wire or the magenta wire . . .

See, I knew someone would answer “they’re biodegradable”, but that sure limits the time before the police have to get the villain properly locked up. In the mean time, some poor bystander gets caught up in the web goop, is late coming back from lunch and gets fired. Some hero.

Does anyone get the comic strip Carpe Diem? There was a cartoon the other day, two superheros are talking, and one says “So, Smellman, what’s your super power”?

Smellman has the head of a dog, with, like, a 6-ft long nose, and a thought bubble that says “Geez, how I hate Don’t-Jump-To-Conclusions-Man.”

hmmmm…wonderous things run through the mind when one is alone in the shower…


I went to get a soda pop the other day and this girl is talking to the machine: You’re not an attractive button at all and you’ll probably be replaced soon, so there!

Me: What’s the deal?

She points to a placard underneath the coin slot: Depress Button.

Having a bad Saturday?

I’ve often wondered who paid for the mayhem and damage caused by superheros. Often they create a lot of damage. You’d think they’d get regularly hauled into court over it. Or possibly imprisoned, since the damage they cause often seems to quite override any benefit they have provided.

That’s a major plot point in The Incredibles movie.

And a direct theme in Hancock.

I’d like to take this opportunity to say that this is a very poorly designed bomb…

I had a conversation with my kid and his friends over what 3 items could you buy at Walmart that would give the cashier the biggest wtf look.

We can up with: doughnuts, doughnut holes, glue

Thank you, mysterious heroes. The value of the Gemerald you saved is slightly greater than the cost of the damage you caused to this museum. A net gain for our great city!

“No capes!”

That’s great!

The clerk didn’t even notice that I was buying apples and razor blades on Halloween night… kind of disappointing.

I’m thinking the “and-a-half” maybe has a bell curve (inverse bell curve?). You love to claim that extra six months until you’re 11 or 12. I bet they start seeming pretty important on the other end of life too. I’m guessing 98 and a half is an achievement.

Guy goes into a bar, sits down, and orders a beer.

He hears a small voice saying, “Gee, your hair looks wonderful! It’s great to see you - it really made my day!”

The guy says to the bartender, “Who is that?”

The bartender points to a bowl and says, “It’s the peanuts. They’re complementary.”


I had something similar happen with wry bread.

Early one Sunday morning at Walmart, I walked in and bought a toilet plunger, and a six-pack of beer.

I got a serious WTF look from he cashier.

Al Pacino’s favorite joke (according to Johnny Depp):

A skeleton shambles into a tavern and up to the bar.

Bartender: What’ll you have?

Skeleton: A beer. And a mop.