(Sequel to this thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=314160)
Old King Cole
Was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he!
He called for his pipe
And he called for his bowl
And got high as a bird in a tree!
Hark, hark, the dogs do bark,
The beggars are coming to town!
The smell of one would make you yark
But for pennies he’ll go down!
Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater,
Had wife but couldn’t keep her
He took a whore to a cheap motel
And told his wife to go to Hell!
See-saw, Marjorie Daw,
Dobbin shall have a new master
Who’ll chain him and punish the least little flaw
By flogging him faster and faster!
There was a jolly pusher
Worked by the Tappan Zee
His wares were always quite the bomb,
The kids would all agree!
And this the burden of his song
Forever used to be:
"Come one, come all, and kick the gong!
“The first hit’s always free!”
Hi-diddle-diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon
If you dig it now, just drop one more tab
And you’ll be floating like a balloon!
Bobby Shaftoe went to sea
Captain’s cabin boy was he
Brought the captain so much glee
Pretty Bobby Shaftoe!
What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Come into the barn, little girl, and you’ll see
Just what little boys are made of!
Rub-a-dub-dub
Three men in a tub
And they all had plenty to share!
The gymnast, the skater, the room decorator –
They pleasured each other from poles to equator
'Twas enough to make Jesse Helms stare!
Higglety, pigglety, my black hen
She lays down with gentlemen
Gentry pay me every day
Down with my black bitch to lay
Sometimes nine, and sometimes ten
Higgling, piggling, my black hen
Do you know McGuffin Man?
McGuffin Man, McGuffin Man?
Do you know McGuffin Man,
Who lives on Drury Lane?
He’s chasing down a Maltese bird
A magic ring, a phoenix turd,
And every plot device that soothes
A lazy writer’s brain
Fiddle de dee, fiddle de dee
The fly has married the bumblebee
The race-mixing shits soon hung from a tree
We keep our bloodlines pure as can be!
I do not love thee, Dr. Fell
The charts mixed up, now I’m a belle
And on the street my ass I sell
I do not love thee, Dr. Fell
Little King Pippin, he built a great hall
Pie-crust and pastry-crust, that was the wall
The birds and the cockroaches turned his hall brown
And his mad, inbred dynasty came tumbling down!
One moisty, misty morning,
When cloudy was the weather,
I chanced to meet an old man
Clothed all in leather
He offered me some candy,
Rubbed his balls against my chin,
Saying, “Take it all, bitch!”
And “Take it all, bitch!”
And “Take it all, bitch” again!
Got any? 
Look here for source material: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nursery_rhyme