I think that’s a difference here. I’ve dated a bunch, to the point like you that I can’t even keep up with the interested ladies, but it almost never seems to go anywhere which is frustrating. Sure, I’ve had my share of kisses, gotten laid sometimes. Made some friends. All good. But I’m looking for a relationship. You sound fine with never getting that. You do you.
I have learned in my professional life (now retired) working with people and giving advice, generally speaking women (usually the younger ones) have a bigger problem accepting a man’s children from former relationships than men do accepting women’s children. That’s why you’ll see such demanding profiles from time to time.
I’d love a relationship but I’m fine screwing around a lot until then. I don’t think we’re that far off.
So if I get rich and lose 15 pounds in the next four months, I’m in with a chance. Good to know.
Ooh, I’m curious now! Write me a man’s version of that profile please! With the subtle cues you’re describing of course.
I think we are. You’re having “the time of my life”. I find it an incredible grind, wading through all the bullshit and nonsense.
“I’m a free spirit” = I’m a lush.
“I’m looking for my partner” = I’m really not looking for anyone, buy me dinner.
“I practice mindfullness” = I read that on Facebook, makes me sound cool.
You get the drill.
I guess she could mean that, but it seems to involve a whole lot of assumptions to come to that conclusion. She picked this specific issue to bring up, and didn’t give any indication it was just an example of something bigger. Plus it’s immediately preceded by a dealbreaker. And she uses the same sort of language: one about not wasting each others’ time, and then about not fooling each other.
I would interpret it to mean that she doesn’t want someone who still has an ex and kids with that ex who both still factor heavily into that person’s life. Just like with being unemployed, she’s saying you’d be wasting your time and fooling yourself if you contact her in that situation.
I don’t think that’s entirely unreasonable, either.
?
I wouldn’t interpret. I would just ask. So, so, much easier.
I did, nicely. "Hi, I’m Squeegee! I’m <such and such details> and would love to know more about you! I’m curious about what you said, is it okay that I have a grown son and have been divorced? Let’s chat, I’d love to hear about you. 
"
That’s paraphrasing, I was more polite and I think elided the divorced/kid think a bit better, but put myself out there: this is me, I think we might click, what do you think?
I’m expecting <crickets> but who knows?
The whole purpose of dating, IMO, is to weed out the ones that are not compatible. If this is not compatible with what you are looking for, move on. The person did you a favor but moving out of consideration. Taking it personally is weird.
Totally not taking it personally! I mean, totally cool, you do you, Anonymous Dating Profile Lady! It was just quite startling to me to specify no exes, no kids, when someone is 55. That’s it.
But she didn’t say that.
She specified no fooling if, i.e., ‘don’t lie about’.
That’s fair I guess. As before, I can’t imagine why someone would lie about that. Hell, it’s the #1 starter conversation on a first date for 50-somethings: tell me about your kids, how long have you been divorced?
So just what has this woman been through that she’d suspect someone of hiding an ex and kids?
Lol. Spot on.
… I mean.
Men are shits. It’s not that hard to figure out why this would deserve emphasis.
Okay, 'splain to me an example. I’m genuinely curious, not trying to knock down a strawman or anything. A previous relationship where this lady’s date did… what exactly? Thanks.
You never know. I’m 59 years old and I have a son in 6th grade.
This is my bread and butter. Those young yoga girls love older hippie daddies. I really need to stay away from them because it’s always a fiasco but everyone has their kryptonite. I regret nothing.
I don’t interpret her words as gold-digging. She’s a woman who wants to find a man on par with her and not some lazy, immature man who thinks she’s going to be his meal ticket. That is, “we should be at the same place at this age as far as our profession, maturity, and finances [set aside for eventual retirement.] Don’t think I’m going to support you if most of your income has gone toward alimony and child support.”
I’m an older woman who’s financially stable and I’m not interested in men who aren’t.
I’m starting to like the cut of this man’s gibberish!
Just don’t be vulgar and order it well-done. If you’re going to dine on unicorn, nothing more than medium rare is acceptable.
Stranger