Most Embarrasing Sex Moments?

This is bizarre. And hilarious! :smiley: Did you ever tell your friend what the problem was? I should think her friend could’ve clued her in, but maybe what she was doing wasn’t that visible.

My own story is truly embarrasing, and not at all funny. So forget about reading it here.

Oh, come on, Lizard! Don’t leave us hanging!

The title of this thread is, after all, “Most Embarrasing Sex Moments” :slight_smile:

I second the motion.

And now that you have posted here, roadkiller, you owe us a story too! :smiley:

sigh I’m afraid it happened a littlle to recently. Like, just 2 months ago. It wasn’t really near as bad or disbusting as most of the ones related here, but I really don’t like to think about it.

you weren’t wearing a green shirt were you?
damn internet voyeurs…:wink:

Malthus, I will assume it’s you from the Paradox forum. :slight_smile:

You might remember this story, but I’ll tell it anyway:

"Me and my then girlfriend wanted to try something different, plus we both had a sweet tooth, so we brought some groceries with us to bed. Now, we both liked oral sex very much and the idea was to use those groceries to make the performance of those rituals even more stimulating (I know the idea is not original).

So I had some honey with me that I wanted to try on her. The problem was that the honey was quite solid, making it hard, nigh on impossible, to apply properly. I therefore went into the kitchen to loosen up the honey, but not too much obviously. Being in a slight hurry, I decided to microwave the whole can. Luckily I had the presence of mind to remove the metal lid before initialising the process. It turned out to be a lucky shot, as a few seconds was all that was needed to make the honey a lot smoother.

Back in the bedroom I applied the honey on the buttercup and began to indulge in my sweet meal until we both decided it was time to stop. It was now her turn. She had brought some strawberry jam with her and now applied that on me. The problem with the strawberry jam was not that it was too solid, but the other way around. The jam had an incredibly runny quality, which I found out very quickly when it sought out those parts of my body that I never see in person, and which I rarely ever give even a first thought. The runny quality, along with the fact that it had been taken out of the refrigerator only minutes before, made the sensation fairly unpleasant.

Anyway, she liked strawberry jam, no matter its condition, so she started her meal. She had to use quite a lot of jam, since very little of it would actually stay “on the plate”, as it were, but luckily the jar was plentiful.

When we both decided the appetizer had gone on long enough we wanted to finish the meal off in style with the main course. The tables that had previously been enjoyed separately now joined together, inviting different sets of tastebuds to enjoy the festivities.

Now, honey and strawberry jam have a common denominator. If you don’t clean them up very carefully they will make the surface very sticky. When joining two such surfaces together you get a level of stickiness that approaches that of standard glue. Needless to say, though our respective meals had been both enjoyable and skillful, they were not meticulous enough.

So there I was, glued together with the girl I loved. What to do?

In the end the problem solved itself. After a while, when bodily fluids had achieved a majority of presence over the sticky stuff, we had, once again, free mobility, the fact of which we took advantage of, in time to finish off the party with some fireworks. Post-eclipse we both had long, conscientious showers.

The moral of this story is: sex can get you in a sticky situation, but can also get you out of the jam."

There is a cliff over the river in Tahlequah, OK called Goat’s Bluff. It is (or at least was, 15 years ago) a favorite of partiers and rappelers, as its odd shape allows for free rappeling and wall walking. Picture this, kinda sorta:
C
C

That first level (the bottom of the first C) is accessible by trail, and I was down there with a girlfriend after dark. We were working on our “have sex anywhere possible” plan when suddenly we saw a light.

No, not a light from somewhere above, but the helmet light from some guy doing a night Aussie (that’s where you go down the rope upside-down) shining directly on my Safeway-chicken white ass.

“Sorry dude.”

She tried to get things going again afterwards, but it was a no-go.

You are correct. :slight_smile:

One forum is just not enough … :smiley:

Oh no! It did get out! :o

stuffs her fist in her mouth to keep from giggling and waking up CG

IDBB